Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Arkansas Is Calling

Wow! I commented on a blog yesterday. She was talking about getting married to this guy who doesn’t know that she is an atheist, neither does / did? her parents. She described both her boyfriend and her parents as “devout christians.”

So, based on my experience as a marriage and family therapist, I urged her to think twice about this marriage since she is already lying to her soon to be husband about something that is a common issue in marital breakdown.

So what happens? I find out, from this blogger’s MOTHER, that I was replying to a sixteen year old. The old one lambasted me for
(a) being a counsellor (“You know what a therapist cut in half is? A rapist.”) and
(b) for “harassing” her “little girl.”

The mother's delicate little flower urged me to "SUCK IT MAKARIOS."

The mother is actually defending this child getting married.

What century is it in Arkansas?


Ginx said...

She's sixteen, it's not like she'll ever find someone else!

Makarios said...

I suppose. At least not another cousin as good as this one.

I was also told that mom and dad are proud members of "The Masons and The Eastern Star." I get this feeling that Mommy dearest may have left a few K's out of her bio.

To be fair, I suppose I have to be more careful before responding. Not in a million years would I have thought that I was talking to a child. Although, had I investigated prior to my reply, lines like, "We're gonna rock out with our cocks out, at the KISS concert" could have been a clue.

PersonalFailure said...


You were right to advise her to at least be honest about her beliefs/non beliefs. Differences of belief can be a huge issue, especially once children come along.

That is secondary to getting married at 16, however.

I repeat: O_o

Makarios said...

Most of us change an awful lot between that and our late twenties.

Of course it CAN work out but . . .

staceyjwarner said...

Thanks for coming by my is never a good idea to have sex with an ex to ground yourself. It shows how stupid I was at the time.


Please come by again. I'm going to follow your blog...

Chris Mackey said...

The blog's title says "Sarawr-[killingname] iz bloggin…"
Google cache has the post, but not Rod's comments... :-(

Tristan Vick said...

It doesn't sound like a godless us vs. faithful us issue. You put a lot of spin on that. It simply sounds like a family issue, and so a private issue. You're getting involved was unnecessary, so I can understand how the mother reacted, even though it was a bit harsh.

Makarios said...

It simply sounds like a family issue, and so a private issue."

Tristan! She blogged about it on the internet and invited comments.

ZenTiger said...

I stood there, in the dark moments before dawn, it was quiet.

I could see no-one, so no-one could see me. I shouted into the emptiness, my voice shattering the silence. No matter. The void was mine to command.

It came as some surprise then that voices answered my call, challenged my ownership of the void.

Did I say that out loud? Oops

Tristan Vick said...

Even so, if it's somebodies private life, perhaps they're just venting, getting it off their chest, I personally would have exercised more professional behavior and kept it on her blog... that's her space after all.

I mean, as someone who works in the field, I'm sure you can understand the need for doctor/patient confidentiality, right? Even if it was broadcast publicly, that doesn't give you the right to spread that information around--that's just unprofessional.

As you stated, she's 16 years old! She may not even know any better! I simply find your behavior questionable, since I would never take anything a child said and use it against them just to try and prove my position superior. I may have defended myself on her website, but that's where I would have left it. Let bygones rest, there's no reason to take everything personal, forgive and forget, turn the other cheek, judge not lest you face the same charges, it's the Christian thing to do.

Keep the religious debate here, don't go picking fights--I mean, after all, you admitted that you engaged her and advised her on personal affairs... based on your own biases. That's just wrong. Let them come to you if they seek it, but otherwise I suggest to keep a higher level of decorum.

Makarios said...

“otherwise I suggest to keep a higher level of decorum.”

Look, Tristan, I know that teaching ESL in Japan is fun for those who don’t have a real career back home. However it hasn’t equipped you in any way for making comments on this issue.

Tristan Vick said...


If I taught English in America and not Japan I'd be teaching English in... America. What's your point here?

I'm married to a Japanese woman, that's why I am living in Japan. I do intend to come back to the States in the near future to get my advanced degrees in comparative religion and perhaps literary theory... but having the multiple degrees I have now does not have anything to do with your breach of client/patient confidentiality.

Granted, you will tell me she wasn't a real client. But then again, I deal with 14, 15, and 16 year olds everyday, so I am qualified to talk about them. Not only as a teaching professional, but also as an amateur sociologist since I am engaging a culture not of my own.

It forces me to think very seriously and carefully about how I handle the situation with my students. Because I deal with this age group on a daily basis, I have gained many insights and have learned a lot from them, as well as the other faculty I work with.

Your comment, again, sounds defensive. Perhaps you see no wrong in what you did, perhaps you don't want to see any, and that's different. I don't think it was evil or anything... but I can tell you that's not what I would do as a professional.

If I had an issue with one of my 15 year old female students, and the parents came down on me for something I said or did, I would not spread it around on my blog. I could lose my job for that.

So I don't see how I'm unqualified. Unless you were referring to your line of work specifically... but then, how am I wrong when I state that professionalism is always better than being unprofessional? I'm sorry if I offended your pride, but I simply don't agree with what you did.

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