Mark Buchanan, in his book, “Hidden in Plain Sight” does a masterful job of describing God’s love, agape love. This is the willed, volitional, desired love by which God designed us.
According to Buchanan, conditional love is predicated on our desires and expectations. If you are good, if you please me, if you return love to me, if you are beautiful and you remain beautiful, then I will love you. With conditional love, decision follows emotion: I feel love; therefore I will love.
Agape works just the opposite. With agape, emotion follows decision. Agape is not emotionless - no love is - but its emotion is the fruit of decision: I will love; therefore I feel love.
Actually, agape is even more hardy and stubborn than that: it wills love even in the face of fierce resistance. Agape chooses to love, not just before there is emotion, but sometimes in spite of other emotions that otherwise come naturally. It loves in the face of betrayal, in the face of rejection, in the face of evasion, in the face of rank badness. It wills love even when circumstances trigger instincts of anger or hurt, withdrawal or revenge. Agape builds its house, often, in the ruins.
Agape, then is not a because of love; it’s an “in spite of” love. It exists free of conditions, fuelled by something within itself rather than evoked by something outside itself. Agape love, when all is said and done is unprovoked love. I saw on MSN this morning that Jennifer Aniston was caught committing a “random act of kindness.” This was all the rage a few years ago and it’s good. It's certainly better than nothing. On the other hand, Christ’s love causes in people "deliberate" and “continuous” acts of kindness. It creates in people a perseverance in doing good in areas where being loved is often foreign to the circumstance.
Agape is unprovoked love; it seeks those who never saw it coming, who never had it coming, who never sought it out. It shows up unannounced, unexpected, undeserved. That’s what atheists cannot tolerate. Hitler doesn’t deserve God’s love. Ted Bundy doesn’t deserve God’s love. What atheists miss is that none of us deserve God’s love. Yet He gives it anyway, for God IS love. God’s love, agape love pursues us, and even when unrequited, pursues us still. We live in an angry, angry world where pain and suffering are more than common.
So why would a whole group of people push away the Source of Love, Comfort and Guidance? I believe that it's because atheists mistakenly view difficulties, even suffering as a sign that love is not present. Easy means love. Hard means no love. They couldn't be more wrong.
We attribute acts of unprovoked anger or violence to some moral flaw in the perpetrator. Something has gone wrong in childhood. Something important is missing. The person is angry for a reason.
Unprovoked love works the same. When we witness it we must attribute it to something inside the perpetrator, some moral perfection, something complete, something solid, some deep and astonishing good that has been placed there by the author and perfecter of love, Creator God Himself. God’s love is love for no reason, love beyond reason. Agape love is a choice, a willed, volitional desire to be good to one’s neighbours. That’s how God loves. He causes it to rain on the godly and the ungodly. “All good things are from above, coming down to us from the Father of heavenly lights, in whom there is no changing or shifting like shadows.”
Thank you Lord for your love. Cause me, Heavenly Father to be an instrument of Your love. Remove from me my anger. Take from me meanness and disregard. Change me Father. Change me. Amen
We’re off to the mountains for a couple weeks so thanks for the conversations folks. God bless.
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Delighting in God’s Love
One distinguishing mark of the love of God, in the small pristine moments when we become aware, is that it always comes to us as something of a surprise. God’s love is so different from any other love we have known. And it’s certainly different from how we love. His love is the only love in the universe that is not rooted in wanting us to fulfill a need in Him. God has no ego needs - and that means He is free to love in a completely unique way. That’s why Jesus prayed that the love He had known with the Father might be experienced by His friends, His disciples, and us, when we come to know Him as Lord and Saviour (John 17:26). The love that exists between the members of the Trinity is better and totally different than anything we have known.
Another surprise is how God’s love steps past our special talents and our hard work and reaches into the broken, messy places of our soul. The children’s book, “Awful Abigail and Why She Changed” speaks to this aspect of God’s love. Abigail, an Innkeeper’s daughter, earns her name by being the kind of little girl who gets into everyone’s hair. One night she is sent to her room, where she watches from her balcony as Mary and Joseph arrive and inquire about staying in her father’s Inn. Once everyone is in bed, Awful Abigail follows a faint light that leads her to the manger. She opens the door and sees Jesus, and the story ends with this wonderful line: “Somehow she knew a dream had come true, and Someone who loved her had found her.”
All of us know moments - or parts of ourselves - we think of as “awful.” No one would want us if s/he knew of this weakness, this sin, this failure. But God is not put off by the messy, broken, sinful, awful aspects of our lives. He pursues us right into the middle of the mess. He does not leave us alone to sanitize the contents - which we are incapable of doing anyway. The real question to ask ourselves is whether we can let ourselves be loved by Him in the “awful” moments of our lives - because the hesitancy is ours, not His.
In the book of Hosea, God talks of wooing Israel, His adulterous bride, into the wilderness. There He will “speak tenderly to her,” and there He will give her vineyards and “a door of hope.” There she will come to know Him not as her owner but - much more intimately - as her husband (see Hosea 2:14-16). The very nature of the relationship will change. And so it is for each of us. The tender, loving words of Jesus, spoken in the wilderness places of our lives, bring us home and bind us to Him as the great Lover of our souls.
Another surprise is how God’s love steps past our special talents and our hard work and reaches into the broken, messy places of our soul. The children’s book, “Awful Abigail and Why She Changed” speaks to this aspect of God’s love. Abigail, an Innkeeper’s daughter, earns her name by being the kind of little girl who gets into everyone’s hair. One night she is sent to her room, where she watches from her balcony as Mary and Joseph arrive and inquire about staying in her father’s Inn. Once everyone is in bed, Awful Abigail follows a faint light that leads her to the manger. She opens the door and sees Jesus, and the story ends with this wonderful line: “Somehow she knew a dream had come true, and Someone who loved her had found her.”
All of us know moments - or parts of ourselves - we think of as “awful.” No one would want us if s/he knew of this weakness, this sin, this failure. But God is not put off by the messy, broken, sinful, awful aspects of our lives. He pursues us right into the middle of the mess. He does not leave us alone to sanitize the contents - which we are incapable of doing anyway. The real question to ask ourselves is whether we can let ourselves be loved by Him in the “awful” moments of our lives - because the hesitancy is ours, not His.
In the book of Hosea, God talks of wooing Israel, His adulterous bride, into the wilderness. There He will “speak tenderly to her,” and there He will give her vineyards and “a door of hope.” There she will come to know Him not as her owner but - much more intimately - as her husband (see Hosea 2:14-16). The very nature of the relationship will change. And so it is for each of us. The tender, loving words of Jesus, spoken in the wilderness places of our lives, bring us home and bind us to Him as the great Lover of our souls.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I hate free choice - but I would die for it. Huh?
Many atheists began their run from God because they were / are afraid that “under God” they would lose their freedom. Little do they realise that it’s only because of God, and the manner in which He created humans that we have the freedom to make the freewill choice to turn our backs on Him. What we end up with is roughly 10% of the world's population who push God out of their lives and then, because they possess no awareness of God, they declare, “I find no evidence for the existence of God!”
The ability to choose between two or more alternatives is what freewill is all about and atheists demand the right to make such decisions. Can you imagine the reactions if atheists found out that on Monday of next week, they would have to begin believing in God?
So here is what I find strange. In the blogs that I’ve read, atheists mock the concept of freewill when it’s used to explain the presence of evil.
.‘It’s too easy,’ they say.
.‘It’s cheap.’ And most of all,
.‘It doesn’t blame God for the presence of evil and that is where the blame needs to fall.'
What we end up with is about 10% of the world's population who say, "The God that I don’t believe in is the reason that we have suffering and evil and because there is suffering and evil in the world, I simply cannot believe in God."
Yikes! When I wrote a blog asking “Would you be willing to die for being an atheist?” the unanimous response was, “I wouldn’t die for atheism but I would certainly be willing to die in order to preserve my freedom to choose to be an atheist.”
Isn’t that interesting? On the one hand, “I hate the freewill concept,” but on the other hand, “I’d die for my right to have freewill.”
Besides Salvation, love and freewill are the two greatest things in the universe. It’s God’s Love for us, love that is willed, volitional and desired, it's God freewill choice to love us that caused Him to take the payment of our sins upon Himself so that we could, if we want, experience His salvation. That in turn, if we wish, would allow us to live for eternity in the presence of love. It would prevent us, if we want, from living in the total absence of love.
We need love. We need freewill. We desperately need God’s salvation. From a spiritual perspective, we wither and die in their absence. Besides salvation, the ability to love and the ability to choose are the greatest “good” that God has given us. Atheists crave love and freewill as much as anyone. Yet they can’t have it both ways. They can’t be willing to die for the freedom to reject God and then fault God for giving them that freedom. Nevertheless, this is just one of the many, many inconsistencies that one is forced to live with when accepting the atheist faith.
The ability to choose between two or more alternatives is what freewill is all about and atheists demand the right to make such decisions. Can you imagine the reactions if atheists found out that on Monday of next week, they would have to begin believing in God?
So here is what I find strange. In the blogs that I’ve read, atheists mock the concept of freewill when it’s used to explain the presence of evil.
.‘It’s too easy,’ they say.
.‘It’s cheap.’ And most of all,
.‘It doesn’t blame God for the presence of evil and that is where the blame needs to fall.'
What we end up with is about 10% of the world's population who say, "The God that I don’t believe in is the reason that we have suffering and evil and because there is suffering and evil in the world, I simply cannot believe in God."
Yikes! When I wrote a blog asking “Would you be willing to die for being an atheist?” the unanimous response was, “I wouldn’t die for atheism but I would certainly be willing to die in order to preserve my freedom to choose to be an atheist.”
Isn’t that interesting? On the one hand, “I hate the freewill concept,” but on the other hand, “I’d die for my right to have freewill.”
Besides Salvation, love and freewill are the two greatest things in the universe. It’s God’s Love for us, love that is willed, volitional and desired, it's God freewill choice to love us that caused Him to take the payment of our sins upon Himself so that we could, if we want, experience His salvation. That in turn, if we wish, would allow us to live for eternity in the presence of love. It would prevent us, if we want, from living in the total absence of love.
We need love. We need freewill. We desperately need God’s salvation. From a spiritual perspective, we wither and die in their absence. Besides salvation, the ability to love and the ability to choose are the greatest “good” that God has given us. Atheists crave love and freewill as much as anyone. Yet they can’t have it both ways. They can’t be willing to die for the freedom to reject God and then fault God for giving them that freedom. Nevertheless, this is just one of the many, many inconsistencies that one is forced to live with when accepting the atheist faith.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Look At What Religion Does!!!
As a counsellor I’ve been repeatedly exposed to hearing about the horrors of relational abuse. I’ve worked with women who’ve had their jaws, fingers and arms broken. I’ve even worked with one woman who’d had her back broken by her husband. I’ve worked with men and women who have been stabbed by their partners with everything from a pitchforks, to broken boards and bottles. Sometimes I’d go home numb and practically too impaired to drive by the shock of what I’d listened to that day.
My conclusion? Rid the world of love.
Based on the evidence that I’ve witnessed I can say without a doubt that love is dangerous. Love is violent. Love does harm to everything it touches. There’s no telling how many lives have been destroyed by exposure to love. To end this senseless cycle, and to literally save the world, we must get serious about making sure that our children at not exposed to any teaching about love. Even the word "love" should be banished from schools and certainly anything supported by government funding should have nothing to do with promoting love. If any private schools open up in order to teach children of fundamentalist parents about love, I say, “Shut em down.” Why such drastic measures? In reality, love is one of the world’s great evils, comparable to the small-pox virus but harder to eradicate. Love is capable of driving people to such dangerous folly that love seems to me to qualify as a kind of mental illness. How can we ever know how many children had their psychological and physical lives irreparably maimed by the compulsory inculcation of love? I mean, how much do we regard children as being the property of their parents? Should so called loving parents be free to impose their beliefs that love is good onto their children? Parents, have no god-given license to enculturate their children in whatever way they choose . . . to bring them up in an atmosphere of dogma . . . or to insist they follow the straight and narrow paths of their own belief in love.
You might be saying by this point, “That’s ridiculous. Who would be so stupid as to say things like that?” Well, atheists that’s who. No, no, they don’t use the word love. They use the word religion. Most recently Bill Maher has realised that he can make a load of cash by promoting bigotry and hatred. And before him, Dawkins and Hitchens and 80% of atheist blogs take the crusades, and suicide bombers and three or four guys who shoot at abortionists and conclude that the world should be rid of religion.
To reach my conclusion about doing away with love, I didn’t consider all the good that love has instigated down through history. In fact I had to purposely avoid that evidence and only focus on how love has been misused and abused. Just so, rabid atheists seem completely immune to the historical good that religions of all types have brought to our existence. Has there been tragedy because of religion? Certainly. But in the words of Michael Shermer, past President of the Skeptics Society “However, for every one of these grand tragedies there are ten thousand acts of personal kindness and social good that go unreported . . . Religion, like all social institutions of such historical depth and cultural impact, cannot be reduced to an unambiguous good or evil.
We can only hope that Bill Maher and his cronies will be held accountable for the mass hysteria they hope to instill in Godless people around the world. We can only hope that an awareness of their bigotry and hypocrisy seeps into the minds of those who believe that they don’t need God in order to be kind and compassionate people, even as they sit in theaters for the sole purpose of laughing at an identified, specified group of people; not because of what they’ve done wrong, but because they think differently than do atheists.
My conclusion? Rid the world of love.
Based on the evidence that I’ve witnessed I can say without a doubt that love is dangerous. Love is violent. Love does harm to everything it touches. There’s no telling how many lives have been destroyed by exposure to love. To end this senseless cycle, and to literally save the world, we must get serious about making sure that our children at not exposed to any teaching about love. Even the word "love" should be banished from schools and certainly anything supported by government funding should have nothing to do with promoting love. If any private schools open up in order to teach children of fundamentalist parents about love, I say, “Shut em down.” Why such drastic measures? In reality, love is one of the world’s great evils, comparable to the small-pox virus but harder to eradicate. Love is capable of driving people to such dangerous folly that love seems to me to qualify as a kind of mental illness. How can we ever know how many children had their psychological and physical lives irreparably maimed by the compulsory inculcation of love? I mean, how much do we regard children as being the property of their parents? Should so called loving parents be free to impose their beliefs that love is good onto their children? Parents, have no god-given license to enculturate their children in whatever way they choose . . . to bring them up in an atmosphere of dogma . . . or to insist they follow the straight and narrow paths of their own belief in love.
You might be saying by this point, “That’s ridiculous. Who would be so stupid as to say things like that?” Well, atheists that’s who. No, no, they don’t use the word love. They use the word religion. Most recently Bill Maher has realised that he can make a load of cash by promoting bigotry and hatred. And before him, Dawkins and Hitchens and 80% of atheist blogs take the crusades, and suicide bombers and three or four guys who shoot at abortionists and conclude that the world should be rid of religion.
To reach my conclusion about doing away with love, I didn’t consider all the good that love has instigated down through history. In fact I had to purposely avoid that evidence and only focus on how love has been misused and abused. Just so, rabid atheists seem completely immune to the historical good that religions of all types have brought to our existence. Has there been tragedy because of religion? Certainly. But in the words of Michael Shermer, past President of the Skeptics Society “However, for every one of these grand tragedies there are ten thousand acts of personal kindness and social good that go unreported . . . Religion, like all social institutions of such historical depth and cultural impact, cannot be reduced to an unambiguous good or evil.
We can only hope that Bill Maher and his cronies will be held accountable for the mass hysteria they hope to instill in Godless people around the world. We can only hope that an awareness of their bigotry and hypocrisy seeps into the minds of those who believe that they don’t need God in order to be kind and compassionate people, even as they sit in theaters for the sole purpose of laughing at an identified, specified group of people; not because of what they’ve done wrong, but because they think differently than do atheists.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I Can’t Love
For a portion of my life, a portion that is still the majority of my life, I didn’t care about loving others. In fact I was seething with anger and hatred. I hurt people - physically and emotionally. I remember one guy that I worked with commenting to me, “You don’t give a f*** about anybody do you?” Ouch. I winced at that but not enough to make any changes.
Oh sure, there was a time where I wanted to be loved. And I could manage lust which I mistook for real love. Anybody can do that. But love? - For others? - Other love? Nope. Selfishness reigned. Annoyance when others weren’t thinking about my happiness was front and centre. People who cut in front of me; people who were late for appointments; people who were too loud, too ugly, too stupid; people whose mistakes or laziness cost me money just drove me crazy angry. I felt confined and smothered by society’s rules. And don’t even get me started on my attitude back then as it applied to God.
And then something weird happened. Not only did I become aware of Jesus’ 24/7 love for me, I decided to follow Jesus. I hung out with Him every day. I read about Him. I talked with Him. I learned from Him and I learned about Him. Slowly but surely my behaviours and thoughts began to change. I grew patient with others. I actually experienced happiness that wasn’t derived from some mood-altering chemical. I began to give of my time, my money, myself. I no longer cared if people purposely jerked me around. Rules no longer bothered me. I was free - really, really free.
And then it dawned on me. I was loving other people. I had compassion and kindness and caring and peace and goodness - actual goodness. If I had looked at someone else whose behaviours were like mine I would have to say, “That person seems to love others.”
So what’s the big deal? Why bother to write down what sounds like bragging? Well first of all it isn’t bragging. It isn’t bragging because I did nothing to bring about this change. I’ve made no effort to improve. No effort was expended on my part to change my character. Watching all this happen to me is kinda like an out-of-body-experience. All I’ve done is hang out with Jesus. I’ve trusted Him. I’ve followed His instructions. I’ve given Him my heart and soul. From my perspective I still can’t love others. It seems to be a fact that nothing good is inherent in me. But Jesus, His love, His mercy, His grace is slowly but surely infusing my every pore with His character. I am possessed by the Holy Spirit of the living God.
And that is what Jesus’ brother James meant when he wrote, “I’ll show you my faith by what I do.” It is Jesus and our relationship with Him that changes our soul which then changes our behaviours. What we do proves or demonstrates what we believe.
Worldly love, the type of love demonstrated for our children by those in the entertainment industry is obsessive, possessive, manipulative and controlling. It’s about what can YOU do for me. What can you do to make ME feel good, look good, help me, support me. Worldly love is about what can you do to make ME happy. If you make me feel good then I’m drawn to you and I call it love. Even when people’s behaviours seem altruistic, their comments show that at least part of what they’re doing is because doing good to others makes them feel good about themselves. Of course that's better than nothing, but still . . .
God’s love, on the other hand, is totally self giving. It gives without any thought of return or recognition or duty or even an awareness that something out of the ordinary is taking place. Good people naturally do good things. God’s love gives.
Does this mean that I’m better than other people? Absolutely not! Many people, even many non believers might be “better” people than I am. At best all I am is better than I was before Jesus came into my life. The thing is, that improvement was so very, very necessary. Until I became a follower of Jesus, I was making the world a worse place in which to live. It was bad for my kids, my wife, my employees, my community. I needed God to change me because I am weak and selfish and self-absorbed.
Has any improvement in my character been by my effort or power? Again, absolutely not. All that I am, all that I’m to be and all that is good in me is from Jesus. Like a poster that I used to have in my office says, “I’m not who I should be. And I’m not who I’m going to be. But thanks to God alone, I’m not who I used to be.”
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Oh sure, there was a time where I wanted to be loved. And I could manage lust which I mistook for real love. Anybody can do that. But love? - For others? - Other love? Nope. Selfishness reigned. Annoyance when others weren’t thinking about my happiness was front and centre. People who cut in front of me; people who were late for appointments; people who were too loud, too ugly, too stupid; people whose mistakes or laziness cost me money just drove me crazy angry. I felt confined and smothered by society’s rules. And don’t even get me started on my attitude back then as it applied to God.
And then something weird happened. Not only did I become aware of Jesus’ 24/7 love for me, I decided to follow Jesus. I hung out with Him every day. I read about Him. I talked with Him. I learned from Him and I learned about Him. Slowly but surely my behaviours and thoughts began to change. I grew patient with others. I actually experienced happiness that wasn’t derived from some mood-altering chemical. I began to give of my time, my money, myself. I no longer cared if people purposely jerked me around. Rules no longer bothered me. I was free - really, really free.
And then it dawned on me. I was loving other people. I had compassion and kindness and caring and peace and goodness - actual goodness. If I had looked at someone else whose behaviours were like mine I would have to say, “That person seems to love others.”
So what’s the big deal? Why bother to write down what sounds like bragging? Well first of all it isn’t bragging. It isn’t bragging because I did nothing to bring about this change. I’ve made no effort to improve. No effort was expended on my part to change my character. Watching all this happen to me is kinda like an out-of-body-experience. All I’ve done is hang out with Jesus. I’ve trusted Him. I’ve followed His instructions. I’ve given Him my heart and soul. From my perspective I still can’t love others. It seems to be a fact that nothing good is inherent in me. But Jesus, His love, His mercy, His grace is slowly but surely infusing my every pore with His character. I am possessed by the Holy Spirit of the living God.
And that is what Jesus’ brother James meant when he wrote, “I’ll show you my faith by what I do.” It is Jesus and our relationship with Him that changes our soul which then changes our behaviours. What we do proves or demonstrates what we believe.
Worldly love, the type of love demonstrated for our children by those in the entertainment industry is obsessive, possessive, manipulative and controlling. It’s about what can YOU do for me. What can you do to make ME feel good, look good, help me, support me. Worldly love is about what can you do to make ME happy. If you make me feel good then I’m drawn to you and I call it love. Even when people’s behaviours seem altruistic, their comments show that at least part of what they’re doing is because doing good to others makes them feel good about themselves. Of course that's better than nothing, but still . . .
God’s love, on the other hand, is totally self giving. It gives without any thought of return or recognition or duty or even an awareness that something out of the ordinary is taking place. Good people naturally do good things. God’s love gives.
Does this mean that I’m better than other people? Absolutely not! Many people, even many non believers might be “better” people than I am. At best all I am is better than I was before Jesus came into my life. The thing is, that improvement was so very, very necessary. Until I became a follower of Jesus, I was making the world a worse place in which to live. It was bad for my kids, my wife, my employees, my community. I needed God to change me because I am weak and selfish and self-absorbed.
Has any improvement in my character been by my effort or power? Again, absolutely not. All that I am, all that I’m to be and all that is good in me is from Jesus. Like a poster that I used to have in my office says, “I’m not who I should be. And I’m not who I’m going to be. But thanks to God alone, I’m not who I used to be.”
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Why Do You Love Creator God?
Is it His concern for the poor? Or that He demands equality for all? Or that He has provided the only place in the known universe that is perfectly suited to our needs and our well-being? Is it because only He has set forth guidelines that protect the powerless? Is it because He unequivocally stands against any and all evil that could destroy you and everyone that you love? Maybe you love God because He is available 24/7; that He delights in your existence, that He loves you unconditionally, that in fact He allowed Himself to be tortured to death on your behalf. Do you love God because He formed you as an entirely unique individual among an entirely unique species? Is it because He longs to bless you and to provide for you a magnificently abundant life? Do you love Him because He has created an environment whereby you have freedom to accept Him or reject Him? Do you love the fact that His affection for you comes with no strings attached? Do you love that He is perfectly just and that He deals with you in utter fairness according to the Laws of the Cosmos? Do you love God because He doesn’t wait for you to find Him; rather He comes to you and His love pursues you relentlessly throughout your life here on earth? Is it because this is true even when your innate evil nature despises and rejects Him? Perhaps you love God because He is the one being in the whole universe who will not give up on you or turn His back on you. Only you can keep His love from embracing you in warmth and protection. Only you can cause a permanent and eternal rift in His desired relationship with you. Do you love God because He reveals Himself to the humble and to those from whom society turns it’s gaze? Do you love God because He will give you paradise at absolutely no cost to you? Are you drawn to the fact that the Cosmos is filled with and held together by this Trinitarian Being who dwells in perfect community with Himself, who, beyond human comprehension displays wisdom, intelligence, power, glory, knowledge, creativity and dazzling beauty? Do you love the fact that God hasn’t left us to guess at His glory? Instead He has revealed to us in word, in deed and in person His nature and character so there need be no misunderstanding with whom it is that we are aligning ourselves? Do you love God because God is Jesus and Jesus is God? That means that the most pure, kind, gentle, merciful, gracious, humble and without guile or pride, loving, compassionate, giving, helping, patient, selfless, genuine, honest soul to ever walk the earth, that very same person who longs to love you and who desires your friendship is God? Do you love Him because He, being Creator God longs for you, yes you, to become part of His family? Perhaps your love is practical. Perhaps you love God because He is willing to forgive every vile act and horrific thought that you have ever experienced or ever will experience. Maybe you love God because everything that’s good in life, everything that’s pure, wondrous, worthy and worthwhile comes to you from the Father of heavenly lights in whom there is no changing or shifting like shadows. Perhaps you love God because He and He alone is able to provide for you incomprehensible peace and joy. Maybe you’re grateful that nothing can separate you from God’s love. Or maybe you’re blown away because He loves you as you are. Maybe you love God because if you let Him He will change you into a person of integrity. Maybe you love God because He and He alone provides for a victorious life that nothing, not even death itself can destroy. Maybe you love God because the same power that raised Jesus from the dead will ensure that you too will live on into eternity. Perhaps your love for God results from the one and only Being who is truly inclusive in His offer of salvation. Does your love stem from the confidence of being under the care of Him who began and who holds all things together; that you can lie down and sleep in peace because He and He alone provides for your safety? Maybe you love God because He has freed you from anxiety and worry; He’s freed you from hate and anger; He’s freed you from the need for power and position and everything else that the world deems necessary for feelings of worth and value. Maybe you love God because He has freed you from real guilt and provided for you a salvation that is sure and eternal. Maybe you love God because of the clarity and understanding that He brings into problems that have baffled humanity for eons past.
Maybe it’s because of these things and more that cause you to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Maybe it’s because of these things and more that cause you to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
To Dream of Severe Mercies
I worked for several years at an In-Patient Treatment Centre. The patients were some of the most hurt and afflicted people that I’ve ever had the honour and privilege of counselling. Many of the adults had never learned to make a bed. If they had a sleeping bag while growing up they would have considered themselves rich. To be touched in a manner that wasn’t threatening or demeaning was an experience that was beyond reach of their memories. To these people, the dream of a better life topped out at a room with fewer rats and needles that weren’t so dull. Anyone who is able to read this can't imagine such stifled and diminished dreams.
And what are my dreams? Or yours for that matter? Do they top out at having just a little more money? An enviable home and a good looking partner? Would you consider yourself “blessed” if you could retire at 50 and spend winters in the tropics? Do you think that God would be astonished at how low we dream?
We, as Christians, are citizens of Heaven. The King of Kings, our Creator and Saviour loves us. For pagans, this life is as good as it's going to get. For us, this life is as bad as it's going to get. So why is our focus so low? Why are our dreams so drained of wonder and glory?
A dear and much younger friend of ours just got married. She has complications that will make getting pregnant significantly more difficult than it would be for “normal” people. Anyone who has wanted children but has been unable to conceive knows that this is nothing short of a tragedy. So what is this young woman’s attitude? She said that she is aware that God may have brought this about because He might have other children for her to raise; children that have not been born to her. This is a woman with a strong and mature faith and a solid trust in God. This is a woman who has learned that our deepest blessings most often come to us through God’s severe mercies. She knows that the surest pathway to a closer walk with God and the pathway that is most frequently used by Him to that end is through shattered dreams.
I think God must shake his head in despair and amazement when we “know” that a close relationship with Jesus is most vibrant in the midst of chaos, when we know the comfort that He brings in times of trouble and tragedy and yet we so often neglect to seek His presence, first and most, in times of crisis. Rather than seeking God’s presence in times of emotional or physical or relational pain, far too often we grab the nearest God-substitute and indulge to the limit. To God, our dreams of health and wealth, as though these things were the ultimate that we can experience, must make Him roll His eyes and groan.
O Lord help me to be open to Your desire to lavish Your love upon me. Help me to search for Your Love “As a deer pants for water.” Help me to remember that times of seeming hopelessness are designed specifically so that I can have a close and intimate relationship with you. Thank you most of all for Your severe mercies.
And what are my dreams? Or yours for that matter? Do they top out at having just a little more money? An enviable home and a good looking partner? Would you consider yourself “blessed” if you could retire at 50 and spend winters in the tropics? Do you think that God would be astonished at how low we dream?
We, as Christians, are citizens of Heaven. The King of Kings, our Creator and Saviour loves us. For pagans, this life is as good as it's going to get. For us, this life is as bad as it's going to get. So why is our focus so low? Why are our dreams so drained of wonder and glory?
A dear and much younger friend of ours just got married. She has complications that will make getting pregnant significantly more difficult than it would be for “normal” people. Anyone who has wanted children but has been unable to conceive knows that this is nothing short of a tragedy. So what is this young woman’s attitude? She said that she is aware that God may have brought this about because He might have other children for her to raise; children that have not been born to her. This is a woman with a strong and mature faith and a solid trust in God. This is a woman who has learned that our deepest blessings most often come to us through God’s severe mercies. She knows that the surest pathway to a closer walk with God and the pathway that is most frequently used by Him to that end is through shattered dreams.
I think God must shake his head in despair and amazement when we “know” that a close relationship with Jesus is most vibrant in the midst of chaos, when we know the comfort that He brings in times of trouble and tragedy and yet we so often neglect to seek His presence, first and most, in times of crisis. Rather than seeking God’s presence in times of emotional or physical or relational pain, far too often we grab the nearest God-substitute and indulge to the limit. To God, our dreams of health and wealth, as though these things were the ultimate that we can experience, must make Him roll His eyes and groan.
O Lord help me to be open to Your desire to lavish Your love upon me. Help me to search for Your Love “As a deer pants for water.” Help me to remember that times of seeming hopelessness are designed specifically so that I can have a close and intimate relationship with you. Thank you most of all for Your severe mercies.
Monday, March 24, 2008
From Love to suffering to Love
What an awesome Christian Easter service! The music was great. The message was great. The lead-up to communion was terrific. It always brings tears to my eyes to contemplate what Jesus did of His own volition.
What an incredible Love!
Not only is suffering part of God’s redeeming plan, HIS suffering is part of His plan.
What an incredible Love!
Jesus experienced the full penalty of all humanity's accumulated sin, past, present and future.
What an incredible Love!
Jesus is Love personified. There is no love without self-giving. There is no self-giving without the experience of pain. Therefore there is no love without suffering.
Suffering is a prerequisite for the development of agape love. Love comes with a cost, even for God. Love that does not voluntarily accept suffering is no love at all for real love is the moving of one’s focus from self to others.
There is no moving of focus from self without the voluntary acceptance of suffering.
There is no character development without suffering.
There is no such thing as a loving saint who has not suffered.
Before we suffer we have the pity (mercy) of God. After we’ve suffered we have the compassion of God.
What an incredible Love!
What an incredible Love!
Not only is suffering part of God’s redeeming plan, HIS suffering is part of His plan.
What an incredible Love!
Jesus experienced the full penalty of all humanity's accumulated sin, past, present and future.
What an incredible Love!
Jesus is Love personified. There is no love without self-giving. There is no self-giving without the experience of pain. Therefore there is no love without suffering.
Suffering is a prerequisite for the development of agape love. Love comes with a cost, even for God. Love that does not voluntarily accept suffering is no love at all for real love is the moving of one’s focus from self to others.
There is no moving of focus from self without the voluntary acceptance of suffering.
There is no character development without suffering.
There is no such thing as a loving saint who has not suffered.
Before we suffer we have the pity (mercy) of God. After we’ve suffered we have the compassion of God.
What an incredible Love!
Monday, October 15, 2007
True Story - "My sister only responds to love."
A mother, her nine-year-old daughter and her three-year-old daughter were in the grocery store. The mother went around the corner of the isle and left her girls to follow after. The mother was not all that concerned as the girls usually followed along shortly. This time however, the older girl began to look at something or other and the younger girl, who happened to have Down’s Syndrom started taking some jars of pickles off the shelf. An employee saw the girls and in a rather sharp tone told the younger girl to put the jars back. The little girl crumpled to the floor in a flood of tears. Her older sister, who saw and heard what happened, went over to her little sister and whispered something in her ear. The little girl immediately picked up the jars and returned them to where they belonged. Then, turning to the somewhat flustered employee, the nine-year-old said, “My sister only responds to love.”
This isn’t just a cool story. And it doesn’t just describe that little girl. It describes all of us, doesn’t it? We all respond to love. We all long to be loved. We all, every single one us crave love.
That is why those of us who have become Christians have responded to the call of Jesus. The Bible explains it this way, “We love Jesus because He first loved us.” It's as though one day, as we turned a corner of life, we ran smack into a wall of Love; a wall that we couldn’t walk around or climb over. We could either accept the wall of Jesus’ Love, or reject that Love and walk the other way. Whatever we chose we could no longer continue on in ignorance of something wonderful.
Yet who of us, when we recognise genuine love walk away from something like that? We might not trust it. We might not believe that it’s for us. We might not even think that we’d be better enjoying THAT particular love. But we all search for genuine love.
The fact is, Jesus loves you. He proved it by dying for you. He longs to heal you and to hold you and to bring you safely home. He hates the sin that is destroying your life. He hates it so much that some day He is going to eliminate sin from existence. Jesus says, “I take no joy in the death of the wicked.”
The wise choice of course is to walk away from sin and to walk toward Love. Not everyone makes that choice, but you can. “Now is the time of God’s favour. Now is the day of salvation.” Respond to Love and Love will respond to you.
This isn’t just a cool story. And it doesn’t just describe that little girl. It describes all of us, doesn’t it? We all respond to love. We all long to be loved. We all, every single one us crave love.
That is why those of us who have become Christians have responded to the call of Jesus. The Bible explains it this way, “We love Jesus because He first loved us.” It's as though one day, as we turned a corner of life, we ran smack into a wall of Love; a wall that we couldn’t walk around or climb over. We could either accept the wall of Jesus’ Love, or reject that Love and walk the other way. Whatever we chose we could no longer continue on in ignorance of something wonderful.
Yet who of us, when we recognise genuine love walk away from something like that? We might not trust it. We might not believe that it’s for us. We might not even think that we’d be better enjoying THAT particular love. But we all search for genuine love.
The fact is, Jesus loves you. He proved it by dying for you. He longs to heal you and to hold you and to bring you safely home. He hates the sin that is destroying your life. He hates it so much that some day He is going to eliminate sin from existence. Jesus says, “I take no joy in the death of the wicked.”
The wise choice of course is to walk away from sin and to walk toward Love. Not everyone makes that choice, but you can. “Now is the time of God’s favour. Now is the day of salvation.” Respond to Love and Love will respond to you.
Friday, October 5, 2007
How does Jesus feel about my enemy?
Before Jesus comes into our lives, it is so easy to see a person who wrongs us as someone that, if not totally evil in motivation, s/he is at least mostly evil. Before Jesus comes into our lives, it’s easy to see someone who does us wrong as selfish and self-centred. It’s easy to see that person as dangerous. Until Jesus comes into a person’s life, compassion for those who do wrong to us is hard to come by. Until Jesus comes into a person’s life, withholding forgiveness and even retaliation is the primary urge, after being wronged.
When Jesus comes into a person’s life, He turns everything around. He does this by giving us a good and honest look at ourselves. If there’s selfishness and self-centred traits to be recognised in anyone, He shows us that we are the one’s who possess those traits. If there’s unforgiveness and bitterness to be repented of, it’s we that need to do the repenting. If anyone needs to quit lying and manipulating, Jesus shows us that we’re the one who are guilty of these things. Lust? It’s ours. Anger? Ours. Betrayal and broken promises? Those are ours as well.
The most important thing that Jesus shows us however, is that just like those who do wrong to us, we wrong others out of OUR weakness, OUR pain, OUR faulty walls of protection and OUR corrupted self-love. Just as we want to be judged by our intentions and not our behaviours, so too the other person. Just as we want to be given a second chance, so too the other person. Just as Jesus has forgiven us, so too must we forgive the person who hurts us.
Jesus is a God of love. He died for us to show us His love. He said, ‘I love your enemies. You must love them also.’ He said, ‘As I have forgiven you, even while you were my enemy, so you must forgive others who mistreat you.’
God is great and God is so very good.
When Jesus comes into a person’s life, He turns everything around. He does this by giving us a good and honest look at ourselves. If there’s selfishness and self-centred traits to be recognised in anyone, He shows us that we are the one’s who possess those traits. If there’s unforgiveness and bitterness to be repented of, it’s we that need to do the repenting. If anyone needs to quit lying and manipulating, Jesus shows us that we’re the one who are guilty of these things. Lust? It’s ours. Anger? Ours. Betrayal and broken promises? Those are ours as well.
The most important thing that Jesus shows us however, is that just like those who do wrong to us, we wrong others out of OUR weakness, OUR pain, OUR faulty walls of protection and OUR corrupted self-love. Just as we want to be judged by our intentions and not our behaviours, so too the other person. Just as we want to be given a second chance, so too the other person. Just as Jesus has forgiven us, so too must we forgive the person who hurts us.
Jesus is a God of love. He died for us to show us His love. He said, ‘I love your enemies. You must love them also.’ He said, ‘As I have forgiven you, even while you were my enemy, so you must forgive others who mistreat you.’
God is great and God is so very good.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Obey the Bible for a Year
This guy is too stupid to blog about but I seem irresistibly drawn to criticise on this lovely morn. What’s really, really stupid is that a magazine actually interviewed him and I mean seriously interviewed him about doing this. So here’s the setting. An agnostic of all things claims to have obeyed every rule in the Bible for a year. He says that he didn’t do it in a mocking or joking manner but it’s obvious that if he wasn’t joking then he is a class A cartoon himself for believing that he could pull off like that. I’ve already said more than this idiot is worth. Bottom line - If you want to obey every rule in the Bible, common sense would dictate that you start with what God calls the two most important rules in the Bible. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind," AND "Love your neighbour as yourself.” An agnostic obeying that? Ah no. I don’t think so. Anyone obeying that for a year or even a day? Sorry. No.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Parables of Jesus
When Jesus told us His parables, He was describing Himself. The parables were describing the love of Jesus. They were describing His passion for those who do not yet know His forgiveness and salvation. He was describing His revulsion toward those of us to have received His forgiveness and who then turn around and withhold forgiveness, grace and mercy from others who are sharing this global community with us.
In the story of the prodigal son, Jesus shows that God longs to renew a relationship with those who are falling between the cracks of life - those struggling with multiple addictions, criminals, those who can only find a sense of belonging in serial relationships, those who can only find worth when it's reflected back to them in the things that they own, those who are “kept in place” through poverty and violence.
Jesus shows in His parables that the whole purpose in His relationship with humanity is to seek and to save those who are in rebellion to His love; to bring into His embrace those who, out of ignorance of His inclusive love, are trying to push Him away.
In the story of the prodigal son, Jesus shows that God longs to renew a relationship with those who are falling between the cracks of life - those struggling with multiple addictions, criminals, those who can only find a sense of belonging in serial relationships, those who can only find worth when it's reflected back to them in the things that they own, those who are “kept in place” through poverty and violence.
Jesus shows in His parables that the whole purpose in His relationship with humanity is to seek and to save those who are in rebellion to His love; to bring into His embrace those who, out of ignorance of His inclusive love, are trying to push Him away.
Monday, September 10, 2007
The Sceptic's Miscue on Grace
The question that sceptics ask is, “How could a loving God eternally punish someone as wonderful as me?” What they need to be asking is, “What kind of Love, what kind of Mercy, what kind of Grace does this God possess that causes Him to reach out and save for eternity the worst individuals who have ever been born?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Growing Together
I’ve just finished a few weeks of marriage counselling with a couple. He was born into a religious home and has since pulled back from that. She was born into a secular home and just before I met them, she had become a Christian. There will no doubt be a fair bit of pushing and pulling as they try to balance out these disparate paths. What has that got to do with anything?
It’s just that it highlights for me how blessed I am, how fortunate I am that Wendy and I have grown in our spiritual walk more or less at the same pace. More accurately, I have pretty much been able to keep up with my incredibly wonderful, intelligent, strong and amazing wife.
Wendy is a quiet, thinking, praying, listening, contemplative individual. She was the first one in our relationship to become a Christian. She tells me that she once wrote in her journal that she thought that I’d never become a follower of Jesus. It took me about two years of watching this amazing transformation in Wendy before I said, “I want that too.” Luckily for me, Jesus is in the business of changing lives.
I on the other hand, am the reading, talking, writing, studying, impulsive type. In every single case that I can remember, whenever I’ve come to Wendy with my “discovery / insight / revelation” moments, about how God works in people’s lives, it has only been to find that Wendy has known for months, what I’d just “discovered.” After I’ve crudely exclaimed the wonders of a particular thought, she feeds it back to me in words refined from hours and hours of personal thought.
Regardless, Wendy is a patient woman who takes my hand as we travel this awesome rode that Jesus is laying out before us. I love my wife. I love my life.
As the proverb says, “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I am so grateful that God has allowed me to travel this road of life with this terrific woman.
It’s just that it highlights for me how blessed I am, how fortunate I am that Wendy and I have grown in our spiritual walk more or less at the same pace. More accurately, I have pretty much been able to keep up with my incredibly wonderful, intelligent, strong and amazing wife.
Wendy is a quiet, thinking, praying, listening, contemplative individual. She was the first one in our relationship to become a Christian. She tells me that she once wrote in her journal that she thought that I’d never become a follower of Jesus. It took me about two years of watching this amazing transformation in Wendy before I said, “I want that too.” Luckily for me, Jesus is in the business of changing lives.
I on the other hand, am the reading, talking, writing, studying, impulsive type. In every single case that I can remember, whenever I’ve come to Wendy with my “discovery / insight / revelation” moments, about how God works in people’s lives, it has only been to find that Wendy has known for months, what I’d just “discovered.” After I’ve crudely exclaimed the wonders of a particular thought, she feeds it back to me in words refined from hours and hours of personal thought.
Regardless, Wendy is a patient woman who takes my hand as we travel this awesome rode that Jesus is laying out before us. I love my wife. I love my life.
As the proverb says, “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I am so grateful that God has allowed me to travel this road of life with this terrific woman.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Delighting In God's Love
I found this in an old document but I cannot for the life of me find who wrote it. When I transfered it from the original I must have clipped the last part that included the name. Anyhow, I love it.
"One distinguishing mark of the love of God, in the small pristine moments when we become aware, is that it always comes to us as something of a surprise. God’s love is so different from any other love we have known. And it’s certainly different from how we love. His love is the only love in the universe that is not rooted in wanting us to fulfill a need in Him. God has no ego needs - and that means He is free to love in a completely unique way. That’s why Jesus prayed that the love He had known with the Father might be experienced by His friends, His disciples, and us, when we come to know him as Lord and Saviour (John 17:26). The love that exists between the members of the Trinity is better and totally different than anything we have known.
Another surprise is how God’s love steps past our special talents and our hard work and reaches into the broken, messy places of our soul. The children’s book “Awful Abigail and Why She Changed” speaks to this aspect of God’s love. Abigail, an innkeeper’s daughter, earns her name by being the kind of little girl who gets into everyone’s hair. One night she is sent to her room, where she watches from her balcony as Mary and Joseph arrive and inquire about staying in her father’s Inn. Once everyone is in bed, Awful Abigail follows a faint light that leads her to the manger. She opens the door and sees Jesus, and the story ends with this wonderful line: “Somehow she knew a dream had come true, and Someone who loved her had found her.”
All of us know moments - or parts of ourselves - we think of as “awful.” No one would want us if he/she knew of this weakness, this sin, this failure. But God is not put off by the messy, broken, sinful, awful aspects of our lives. He pursues us right into the middle of the mess. He does not leave us alone to sanitize the contents - which we are incapable of doing anyway. The real question to ask ourselves is whether we can let ourselves be loved by Him in the “awful” moments of our lives - because the hesitancy is ours, not His.
In the book of Hosea, God talks of wooing Israel, His adulterous bride, into the wilderness. There He will “speak tenderly to her,” and there He will give her vineyards and “a door of hope.” There she will come to know Him not as her owner but - much more intimately - as her husband (see Hosea 2:14-16). The very nature of the relationship will change. And so it is for each of us. The tender, loving words of Jesus, spoken in the wilderness places of our lives, bring us home and bind us to Him as the great Lover of our souls."
It breaks my heart that so many people are scared of finding this love.
"One distinguishing mark of the love of God, in the small pristine moments when we become aware, is that it always comes to us as something of a surprise. God’s love is so different from any other love we have known. And it’s certainly different from how we love. His love is the only love in the universe that is not rooted in wanting us to fulfill a need in Him. God has no ego needs - and that means He is free to love in a completely unique way. That’s why Jesus prayed that the love He had known with the Father might be experienced by His friends, His disciples, and us, when we come to know him as Lord and Saviour (John 17:26). The love that exists between the members of the Trinity is better and totally different than anything we have known.
Another surprise is how God’s love steps past our special talents and our hard work and reaches into the broken, messy places of our soul. The children’s book “Awful Abigail and Why She Changed” speaks to this aspect of God’s love. Abigail, an innkeeper’s daughter, earns her name by being the kind of little girl who gets into everyone’s hair. One night she is sent to her room, where she watches from her balcony as Mary and Joseph arrive and inquire about staying in her father’s Inn. Once everyone is in bed, Awful Abigail follows a faint light that leads her to the manger. She opens the door and sees Jesus, and the story ends with this wonderful line: “Somehow she knew a dream had come true, and Someone who loved her had found her.”
All of us know moments - or parts of ourselves - we think of as “awful.” No one would want us if he/she knew of this weakness, this sin, this failure. But God is not put off by the messy, broken, sinful, awful aspects of our lives. He pursues us right into the middle of the mess. He does not leave us alone to sanitize the contents - which we are incapable of doing anyway. The real question to ask ourselves is whether we can let ourselves be loved by Him in the “awful” moments of our lives - because the hesitancy is ours, not His.
In the book of Hosea, God talks of wooing Israel, His adulterous bride, into the wilderness. There He will “speak tenderly to her,” and there He will give her vineyards and “a door of hope.” There she will come to know Him not as her owner but - much more intimately - as her husband (see Hosea 2:14-16). The very nature of the relationship will change. And so it is for each of us. The tender, loving words of Jesus, spoken in the wilderness places of our lives, bring us home and bind us to Him as the great Lover of our souls."
It breaks my heart that so many people are scared of finding this love.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Will I Ever Find A Partner Who's Good For Me? (Conclusion)
The fact is, healthy people run from unhealthy people, and unhealthy people find healthy people boring. The two are never attracted to each other. If you are newly out of a relationship and you haven’t had a HUGE awakening to the growth that needs to take place in you and if you have not done anything to bring about that growth, then you are not nearly ready for anything but more of the same.
This of course raises the question, "How do I change my character?" For those of you who aren’t Christians, I have wonderful news. Jesus Christ loves you. He died for you and if you let Him He will transform your life. For those of you who claim to be Christians, and the negative thoughts and behaviours in this post are something that you struggle with, then it’s time to get honest with yourself about the value of trying to live a lifestyle that Jesus never sanctioned. Either join the Baha’i or get serious about the One whose name you represent. Remember that Jesus said, "The one who loves Me is the one who obeys Me." For both groups I would ask you to remember this line. When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.
The next thing to do is admit that you are wrong. There is no point in trying the same thing harder or longer if it isn’t working. A fact of life is, Jesus can do nothing in us as long as there is any hint of self-sufficiency. We are strangers on this earth. We don’t know the way. Virtually every decision that we make, that isn’t made with God / Bible as our road map, will take us down the wrong road. This is especially the case in the area of relationships. Look back over your life and you will see how true this is.
The next thing to remember is Hebrews 4:16 - "So now we can boldly and with confidence come to the throne of grace and receive mercy and find grace in our time of need." Jesus isn’t like your human parents. If you will simply humble yourself and tell Jesus that you are sorry for rebelling against Him, He will welcome you home with open arms. He loves you so much that he was willing to die for you. That’s the kind of love you can trust. 1st John 1:9 tells us that "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Your unrighteousness is what has gotten you into all this trouble. Let Jesus get rid of it for you and you will be free to make decisions that will benefit, instead of destroying you and those around you.
So, will you find a healthy partner? It’s totally up to you. If you are serious about not repeating past mistakes, don’t look for the right person. Let Jesus change you and when you become the right kind of person, the right kind of person for you will appear.
This of course raises the question, "How do I change my character?" For those of you who aren’t Christians, I have wonderful news. Jesus Christ loves you. He died for you and if you let Him He will transform your life. For those of you who claim to be Christians, and the negative thoughts and behaviours in this post are something that you struggle with, then it’s time to get honest with yourself about the value of trying to live a lifestyle that Jesus never sanctioned. Either join the Baha’i or get serious about the One whose name you represent. Remember that Jesus said, "The one who loves Me is the one who obeys Me." For both groups I would ask you to remember this line. When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.
The next thing to do is admit that you are wrong. There is no point in trying the same thing harder or longer if it isn’t working. A fact of life is, Jesus can do nothing in us as long as there is any hint of self-sufficiency. We are strangers on this earth. We don’t know the way. Virtually every decision that we make, that isn’t made with God / Bible as our road map, will take us down the wrong road. This is especially the case in the area of relationships. Look back over your life and you will see how true this is.
The next thing to remember is Hebrews 4:16 - "So now we can boldly and with confidence come to the throne of grace and receive mercy and find grace in our time of need." Jesus isn’t like your human parents. If you will simply humble yourself and tell Jesus that you are sorry for rebelling against Him, He will welcome you home with open arms. He loves you so much that he was willing to die for you. That’s the kind of love you can trust. 1st John 1:9 tells us that "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Your unrighteousness is what has gotten you into all this trouble. Let Jesus get rid of it for you and you will be free to make decisions that will benefit, instead of destroying you and those around you.
So, will you find a healthy partner? It’s totally up to you. If you are serious about not repeating past mistakes, don’t look for the right person. Let Jesus change you and when you become the right kind of person, the right kind of person for you will appear.
Will I Ever Find A Partner Who's Good For Me? (Part 2)
Remember - Wanting a healthy relationship is not the same as being ready to have a healthy relationship. That’s why the statement "I think he/she will be good for me" needs to be taken with a grain of salt. That person will be no better for you than you are for that person.
You might say at this point, but my boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife is worse than I am. And I will say, if that’s the case it is only because you have grown in maturity since you two met. When you met, you two were roughly the same.
And as a point of interest, let me ask you three simple questions.
(1) What do you look at when judging whether a group photograph, that you’re a part of, is good or not?
(2) Do you see yourself as being a better driver than most people you know? Or do you see yourself as being a worse driver than most people you know?
(3) Do you see yourself as being emotionally healthier and more mature than your partner or former partners? Or are you less healthy and less mature than your partner or former partners?
It is the very rare person for whom one’s perceived self-importance doesn’t show up in these questions. That is how out of touch we are with the reality of our corrupt nature. So what has this got to do with relationships? Well, it’s been my experience that most people who get a divorce are so blind to their own personality that they actually think that they’ll be good for someone else. The vast majority of divorced people think the marriage ended, not because they were miserable to live with, but that it’s the other person’s fault that the marriage ended. It’s human nature to not recognise our own corruption. The reason you don’t feel corrupt is the same reason a fish doesn’t feel wet. Because it is immersed. You won’t recognise your corruption until you find a way to step out of it and view it from a distance. You can’t know that you need to be rescued until you first recognise that you’re lost.
Getting back to relationships, let me give you an example of what I mean by "We are roughly the same as those we attract." I hear from clients on a fairly regular basis, "I’m not at all like my spouse. He/she had an affair and I would never do that." I can tell you that in virtually every case, with a little processing, it soon comes out that if given the opportunity to have some ‘payback sex’ soon after finding out about the affair, the person in my office would have jumped at the chance. You might counter with, "that’s different. That person had already been hurt." And I will say to you, "It is no different at all!"
What we are measuring here is the quality of character, and a healthy character is made of nothing less than emotional and spiritual health.
(1) An emotionally and spiritually healthy character is able to say "no" to emotionally damaging thoughts and behaviours no matter how badly that person wants what s/he wants.
(2) An emotionally and spiritually healthy character does not go looking for emotionally damaging thoughts and behaviours regardless of what’s happened to that person.
Let me continue with the example of sex. Lets assume that someone other than your spouse wants to have sex with you. If you are emotionally and spiritually healthy you would be asking yourself, "Why would I want to be with someone who is so cruel and so selfish that he/she would do that to my spouse?" On the other hand, if you as a married or c/l person are considering having sex with someone else (especially if that person is also married), then the question I would ask is, "Why would that person want to be with someone like you, who is so cruel that you would do that to either of your spouses?" What is it about you that is attracting such an unhealthy person to you?
If the answer for either of you is, "We find danger, cheating, and snubbing God and His desires for us appealing and exciting," or if you say that you don’t care about how your spouses feel, then I would also say that emotionally and spiritually you are both in a truly pitiful state. There is nothing in either of you from which you can build a healthy relationship. Don’t get me wrong. You may be able to have a relationship, but it will be no better than average, if that. Quality marriages don’t just happen by luck. It takes quality people to have a quality marriage. You don’t find the right person to have a good marriage. To have a good marriage each of you has to be the right person.
There are very few people who don’t know of someone, usually a woman, of whom it’s said, "if she could only find someone who would treat her right." And this is often said as she is dragging her children through the third or fourth lousy relationship with the next creep who is ready to move in with her.
I repeat, it is impossible for someone who is not good, to treat you good on a consistent long-term basis. That means that if you are not good, then even you do not know how to be good to yourself. Your character is rotting from the inside out and the stench of spiritual death hovers about you. That’s why you continue to choose self-harming behaviours, and that’s why you continue to reject healthy, life-nurturing behaviours, and beliefs; because you are unable to recognise them as such.
Consider the example of Actor / Comedian Groucho Marx. Mr. Marx recalls asking a woman, "Would you have sex with me for One Million dollars?"
She responded with, "Of Course!"
He then asked, "Would you have sex with me for One Dollar?"
To which she replied, "What kind of a person do you think I am?"
And his reply was, "We’ve already established what kind of a person you are. Now we’re just negotiating."
Who you are, counts!
Character and beliefs count!
Integrity counts!
What usually happens when two unhealthy people are attracted to each other, is that their sickness causes them to misinterpret the qualities that they think they see in the other person. As time wears on, their mistake becomes painfully obvious. What was once seen as fun-loving is now seen as irresponsible. Stable and structured becomes rigid and boring. Concerned becomes smothering. Caring becomes controlling. Outgoing becomes flirtatious. Carefree becomes undependable. What once attracted you to this person, now drives you away. But that isn’t his/her fault! When you grow tired of someone, or when that person hurts you, don’t blame that person for being the kind of person that you chose to be with. When you two met, it was your sickness that projected good qualities that were never there.
Let me give you an example that is extreme in number but typical in nature.
"I will never marry again." This was said by Barbara Hutton (who was at the time heiress to the multi million-dollar Woolworth fortune) after divorcing her second husband.
"I will never marry again. You can’t go on being a fool forever." This was said by Barbara Hutton after divorcing her third husband.
"This is positively my final marriage." This was said by Barbara Hutton after marrying her sixth husband.
"He is the composite of all my previous husbands’ good qualities, without any of their bad qualities. I have never been so happy in my life." This was said by Barbara Hutton after marrying her seventh husband. Two years later Barbara Hutton divorced her seventh husband.
End of Part 2
You might say at this point, but my boyfriend / girlfriend / husband / wife is worse than I am. And I will say, if that’s the case it is only because you have grown in maturity since you two met. When you met, you two were roughly the same.
And as a point of interest, let me ask you three simple questions.
(1) What do you look at when judging whether a group photograph, that you’re a part of, is good or not?
(2) Do you see yourself as being a better driver than most people you know? Or do you see yourself as being a worse driver than most people you know?
(3) Do you see yourself as being emotionally healthier and more mature than your partner or former partners? Or are you less healthy and less mature than your partner or former partners?
It is the very rare person for whom one’s perceived self-importance doesn’t show up in these questions. That is how out of touch we are with the reality of our corrupt nature. So what has this got to do with relationships? Well, it’s been my experience that most people who get a divorce are so blind to their own personality that they actually think that they’ll be good for someone else. The vast majority of divorced people think the marriage ended, not because they were miserable to live with, but that it’s the other person’s fault that the marriage ended. It’s human nature to not recognise our own corruption. The reason you don’t feel corrupt is the same reason a fish doesn’t feel wet. Because it is immersed. You won’t recognise your corruption until you find a way to step out of it and view it from a distance. You can’t know that you need to be rescued until you first recognise that you’re lost.
Getting back to relationships, let me give you an example of what I mean by "We are roughly the same as those we attract." I hear from clients on a fairly regular basis, "I’m not at all like my spouse. He/she had an affair and I would never do that." I can tell you that in virtually every case, with a little processing, it soon comes out that if given the opportunity to have some ‘payback sex’ soon after finding out about the affair, the person in my office would have jumped at the chance. You might counter with, "that’s different. That person had already been hurt." And I will say to you, "It is no different at all!"
What we are measuring here is the quality of character, and a healthy character is made of nothing less than emotional and spiritual health.
(1) An emotionally and spiritually healthy character is able to say "no" to emotionally damaging thoughts and behaviours no matter how badly that person wants what s/he wants.
(2) An emotionally and spiritually healthy character does not go looking for emotionally damaging thoughts and behaviours regardless of what’s happened to that person.
Let me continue with the example of sex. Lets assume that someone other than your spouse wants to have sex with you. If you are emotionally and spiritually healthy you would be asking yourself, "Why would I want to be with someone who is so cruel and so selfish that he/she would do that to my spouse?" On the other hand, if you as a married or c/l person are considering having sex with someone else (especially if that person is also married), then the question I would ask is, "Why would that person want to be with someone like you, who is so cruel that you would do that to either of your spouses?" What is it about you that is attracting such an unhealthy person to you?
If the answer for either of you is, "We find danger, cheating, and snubbing God and His desires for us appealing and exciting," or if you say that you don’t care about how your spouses feel, then I would also say that emotionally and spiritually you are both in a truly pitiful state. There is nothing in either of you from which you can build a healthy relationship. Don’t get me wrong. You may be able to have a relationship, but it will be no better than average, if that. Quality marriages don’t just happen by luck. It takes quality people to have a quality marriage. You don’t find the right person to have a good marriage. To have a good marriage each of you has to be the right person.
There are very few people who don’t know of someone, usually a woman, of whom it’s said, "if she could only find someone who would treat her right." And this is often said as she is dragging her children through the third or fourth lousy relationship with the next creep who is ready to move in with her.
I repeat, it is impossible for someone who is not good, to treat you good on a consistent long-term basis. That means that if you are not good, then even you do not know how to be good to yourself. Your character is rotting from the inside out and the stench of spiritual death hovers about you. That’s why you continue to choose self-harming behaviours, and that’s why you continue to reject healthy, life-nurturing behaviours, and beliefs; because you are unable to recognise them as such.
Consider the example of Actor / Comedian Groucho Marx. Mr. Marx recalls asking a woman, "Would you have sex with me for One Million dollars?"
She responded with, "Of Course!"
He then asked, "Would you have sex with me for One Dollar?"
To which she replied, "What kind of a person do you think I am?"
And his reply was, "We’ve already established what kind of a person you are. Now we’re just negotiating."
Who you are, counts!
Character and beliefs count!
Integrity counts!
What usually happens when two unhealthy people are attracted to each other, is that their sickness causes them to misinterpret the qualities that they think they see in the other person. As time wears on, their mistake becomes painfully obvious. What was once seen as fun-loving is now seen as irresponsible. Stable and structured becomes rigid and boring. Concerned becomes smothering. Caring becomes controlling. Outgoing becomes flirtatious. Carefree becomes undependable. What once attracted you to this person, now drives you away. But that isn’t his/her fault! When you grow tired of someone, or when that person hurts you, don’t blame that person for being the kind of person that you chose to be with. When you two met, it was your sickness that projected good qualities that were never there.
Let me give you an example that is extreme in number but typical in nature.
"I will never marry again." This was said by Barbara Hutton (who was at the time heiress to the multi million-dollar Woolworth fortune) after divorcing her second husband.
"I will never marry again. You can’t go on being a fool forever." This was said by Barbara Hutton after divorcing her third husband.
"This is positively my final marriage." This was said by Barbara Hutton after marrying her sixth husband.
"He is the composite of all my previous husbands’ good qualities, without any of their bad qualities. I have never been so happy in my life." This was said by Barbara Hutton after marrying her seventh husband. Two years later Barbara Hutton divorced her seventh husband.
End of Part 2
Monday, December 18, 2006
Jenna Jameson announces much anticipate followup to "How To Make Love Like A Porn Star" (satire)
Jenna Jameson announced today that she had completed the "natural sequel" to her runaway best seller "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star." In a press conference held this morning in L.A., Jameson stated that "How To Make Love Last Like a Porn Star" will be ready for January 15th release. With her latest boyfriend by her side Jameson cooed that this book would reveal the secrets of having a "really short long-term relationship." Whether you simply aren’t marriage material, or a really poor judge of character or just a whore who wants to make a lot of money, Jameson claimed these secrets can be applied by nearly everyone. "In fact I can’t even claim these tactics as my mine and mine alone. They’ve been taught to fans by almost everyone in the entertainment industry for decades. I’ve just compiled them in an easy to learn format." Jamison said that if people didn’t think she had the brains to write such a book they should just look to friends like, Britney, Jude, Kate, Brad and "a whole lot of other Jennifers who have been imitating my example for years. These people’s philosophy of life is proof positive that you can destroy relationships and promote oneself at the same time." When asked by one reporter, how people could know if they were in love, J.J. as she likes to be called replied, "Like, that’s easy. If the person that you want to fuck is cute, and rich and desired by others then, like, you’re in love." To make sure that it's true love and not just infatuation Jenna advised people to look for telltale signs of love like, possessive controlling behaviours, or the sometimes hard to recognise greed / need / lust combination. She cautioned that true love is jealous and obsessive and absent of the pseudo freedom promoted by amateurs. "Of course love is sex but most of all true love is based on impulse and defies all rational self-control. Really all you need to find love, especially in my business, is to be emotionally stunted, sexually disoriented, morally bankrupt, relationally retarded and spiritually deluded."
One Canadian reporter stated that he and his wife of 34 years didn’t agree with her beliefs nor with her lifestyle. He said he enjoyed something called the "1st Corinthians 13 Love." According to this reporter, he and his wife have the kind of marriage whereby they understand love as being patient and kind. He said that they had a love that does not envy or boast, that it isn’t proud or rude or self-seeking or easily angered. He said that he and his wife’s love keeps no record of wrongs and doesn’t delight in evil. "It always rejoices in the truth," he continued, "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." When he finished by saying that theirs was the kind of love that never fails, Jameson responded with, "Huh?"
One Canadian reporter stated that he and his wife of 34 years didn’t agree with her beliefs nor with her lifestyle. He said he enjoyed something called the "1st Corinthians 13 Love." According to this reporter, he and his wife have the kind of marriage whereby they understand love as being patient and kind. He said that they had a love that does not envy or boast, that it isn’t proud or rude or self-seeking or easily angered. He said that he and his wife’s love keeps no record of wrongs and doesn’t delight in evil. "It always rejoices in the truth," he continued, "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." When he finished by saying that theirs was the kind of love that never fails, Jameson responded with, "Huh?"
Monday, December 11, 2006
Misunderstanding Jesus
People misunderstand Jesus in innumerable ways. One special way is in seeing Jesus as an unapproachable King. Jesus says obey Me. Jesus says worship Me. Jesus says serve Me, and people, those who do not know Jesus in the fullest sense, see Him as egotistical, demanding and aloof. What those people don’t understand however, is that Jesus tells us to do those things because having that kind of contact with our Creator is what makes us fully alive. Jesus is Love and because of His love He wants what’s best for us. Like a lightbulb lying on the counter, we do not begin to fully shine until we are screwed in to the socket of our Lord and Saviour. We were meant to fit into Jesus’ plan for us and when we do, when we treat Jesus with love, when we serve Him and obey Him, that is when we experience, really experience the qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The possession of these characteristics, often combined under the word "happiness," is determined by a spiritual law; a law as observable as gravity. This is not a fabricated happiness. This is not a happiness for which one needs to strive. It is not a happiness based on the absence of difficulty. It’s simply a fact that when Jesus is the most important aspect of one’s life, there will be the kind of joy whereby one can say with the apostle Paul, "I have learned the secret of contentment in all situations." Without an intimate, healed and forgiven relationship with Jesus, the only happiness that one can attain is one that is brought about by circumstance. What a sad and pitiful way to live.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I Love You Too Dad
As of this writing, my youngest son, Riley, is 3 ½ years old. Like his older brother David, Riley is kind, thoughtful of other’s needs, gentle and loving. From time to time, when I tell Riley that I love him, he says, "I love you too dad." But sometimes, without my saying anything, he's looked up from what he's doing and said, "I love you too dad." I smile thinking that he simply has not learned sentence structure yet. Until yesterday. Yesterday is when I noticed that he says "I love you too," when we go for a walk; just Riley and I. He says it when I put my arm around him. When I watch him swing or watch him play in the sandbox, it’s then that Riley, hearing my actions as loud as words, replies to my undivided attention with, "I love you too dad." Isn’t that just the most awesome thing? And isn’t that how we should respond to Jesus as we remember that we have His undivided attention? "I love you too Lord."
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