(CNN) Convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi, earlier said to be dying of cancer by Scottish officials, was seen yesterday looking anything but near death. Surprising to most, al-Megrahi was not heading for palliative care in Lybia. Instead he was seen running through the Mediterranean surf with none other than Kate Gosslin.
“I’m outraged by all of this,” snorted Jon Gosslin, estranged husband of Kate. Pushing back what looked to be an 18 year old wanna be model who was licking his ear, Jon whined, "It’s her week to be with the kids and there she is getting all jacked up with this, this, old Libyan fart.”
“I knew it would come to this,” said a concerned European official who asked to not be named. “It’s not that we gave a damn if Abdel was released. It’s all this publicity that we were trying to avoid. We told Mortimer Gadfly in no uncertain terms, "Take him. He's yours. But by zeus, if you leak a word of this to anyone, once we've used up this 900 billion dollars worth of oil, we might not come back for any more."
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Gordon Brown of Britain stated that he is going to the same resort as Gosslin and Abdel first thing tomorrow morning to, “Have a sit down with Ms. Gosslin. We need to get the facts straight about just how long they're going to stay on the beach where people can see them. After all, if another crisis in the world doesn’t arise and arise soon, the public is going to see the duplicity on the part of all of us leaders. If that happens, well, oil deals have been lost over less. Before this weekend, something dramatic has to come up so that the public says, "Oh look! A squirrel!" Perhaps Britney Spears will twist an ankle or something.”