Tuesday, August 4, 2009

You touch mine and I'll touch yours

Ah crap. I just got a phone call from the dad across the ally. Apparently our four year old daughter and his four year old son have been exploring each
other's extremities, and I don't mean fingers and toes.

What to do? What to do?

This is a guy who is, how shall I say, um, very protective of his adorable
son. He really is - adorable I mean. There is no sarcasm in that. However to say that dad is over protective is just a slight exaggeration.

On the other hand, to say that we're negligent would also be just a slight exaggeration - I mean in comparison to the other young parents in our neighbourhood. Of course I was the same with our first set of kids, now 32 and 28. With our second bunch however, we've kind of come to the conclusion that "They'll probably survive." The fact is, with five little kids, we're on overload. We've got two eight year old boys, two seven year olds - boy and a girl and one four year old girl. I can say with reasonable confidence that they won't drink poison or light any major fires, but anything beyond that is pretty much speculation and hope.

It's the same regarding sexuality. While we encourage respect and a "put that down" attitude when it comes to holding someone else's penis, the kids still run around naked after a bath or in the morning while getting dressed. So to get excited because of "natural" exploring is just not as big a deal to me as it is to this dad.

So, I guess I have to have ANOTHER talk with our dear little girl. (No, this is not the first time). She is a live one, I'll grant you that. Any boy who dates her had better have his act together or she'll just devour him. But of course you can't just go around putting your hands into other people's pants. Not while dad's at home anyway :-)

Ah me, life is hard.


Rabhimself said...

Could be opening pandora's box here, but on the topic of sexuality, Ron. Are you against homosexuality?

I'm assuming you more than certainly are.

In any case, i'm interested to hear why you are for/against it.

Makarios said...

Arrrgh. I've always tried to avoid this subject. It's so loaded with strong feelings and potential for real hurt. From a clinical perspective, I think that homosexuality is a relational disorder whereby our emotional needs have become sexualised. Much like the proverbial "whore" who finds acceptance, security and belonging through sexual encounters with many men.

I also think that Jesus was more than clear that our sexuality was to be expressed as a means of giving love within the safety of a monogamous marriage between a man and a woman.

When I've worked with homosexual couples who've come for relationship counselling, and I've worked with many, I've only focused on the relationship UNLESS they wanted to discuss the issue of homosexuality. I can only think of two couples who wanted to talk about "homosexuality" and both of those couples were Christians.

When the Christians said that it was unfair for God to deny them sexual fulfilment I asked, "So if something happened to my wife, either through sickness or accident, whereby we could no longer be sexually intimate, should I adapt to the circumstance that came about through no fault of my own or should I seek sexual release somewhere else?"

The response in each case was a continuation of how unfair it was for God to ask them to live a celibate life and how it was more important to please one's self instead of the One they called they're Saviour but obviously not Lord.

As a Christian, I don't think that anything that I have to say about any type of sin has any relevance to non Christians. You guys are free to come and go as you please. We Christians, however, have signed on to a relationship where Jesus makes some very dramatic demands on our thought and behavioural lives.

I wince even as I'm about to click "publish" since I really don't want to go down this road. I would like to say, I guess that I doubt that you could find any homosexual person or couple who didn't believe that as a counsellor I treated them with utmost respect even though most of them knew my stance on the subject. So, I guess we'll see what you intend to do with this information.

PersonalFailure said...

Ah, kids. Or rather, ah, young parents. That's why I enjoy being the aunt. If they're alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

Makarios said...

If they're alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."

Not just a job but a GOOD job :-)

Rabhimself said...

So to sum it up, if they homosexuals aren't christian, then fine, but if they are, then it's not fine because part and parcel of being a christian is accepting that both jesus and the bible disapprove of homosexuality?

Do i have that right?

I'm just really interested to see which parts of the bible you discard and which parts you keep.

Makarios said...

"So to sum it up, if they homosexuals aren't christian, then fine,"

No it's not fine. But if you aren't in a healed and forgiven relationship with Jesus, if you're still His enemy, then what you do with your sex life is not your biggest problem.

"I'm just really interested to see which parts of the bible you discard and which parts you keep."

You could have just asked. In the Bible we find an old covenant and a new covenant. You probably know that. Jesus came, in part, to introduce the new covenant which did away with

. The Levitical code,
. The dietary laws and
. All of the requirements regarding feasts and
. All of the sacrificial laws.

Those things may be of historical interest to today's Christian, but they are not prescriptive for how we live as Jesus desires.

If you enjoy some uplifting and inspiring as well as challenging reading, re read Matthew chapters 5through 7. This explains a good part of the new covenant and that is what said was important to obey. Of course many of these points are further touched on throughout the New Testament.

I'm not sure what you mean by the term "discard." I "keep" all of the Bible as being valuable from various perspectives but as stated, they are not all prescriptive today under the new covenant as they were under the terms of the old covenant.

As to your question about homosexuality, sexual purity (I explained what this looks like in an earlier reply), is part of both the old and the new covenant. Other examples would be honesty, kindness, love, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, love for God and for neighbour, all of these would also be carry overs from or standards that hold true for all time and all places - Old Testament / New Testament; Old Covenant / New Covenant.

I'm not really in the mood for arguing Rab. May you should just go for a long run or lift some weights or something.

If you felt you had to leave the faith because of conflicts with your sexual life, or any other issues of "freedom" that's cool. You're a big boy and you're free to do what you want. I hope that you will extend the same courtesy to me.

I've just finished a tough counselling session with a woman who found out yesterday that her husband has been having an affair.

You know, someone with real problems. I'm going to bed.

Rabhimself said...

I've had enough of your shit Makarios.

I never even hinted once that i have been suffering from a 'conflict in my sexual life'.

Then you try to shame me for my 'problem', which is fabricated in your own head, by dcomparing me to someone with real problems.

You are such an asshole sometimes. It's hard to believe you're a counsellor.

All i did was ask a question and look how i get treated.

I've had enough.

I hope you feel smug now riding your high horse.


Makarios said...

Wow! That's quite a reation Rab. That of course is the problem with communicating through typed words. My mood was nothing but tired and sad from a very draining session. Like I said, I didn't feel like arguing - period.

Rabhimself said...

Still doesn't take away from the fact you fabricated nonsense. Also, that's not the first time you have made a go of taking the utter piss out of me, so excuse me for having my fill.

See ya.

Makarios said...

What ever