Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Barack Obama to Lindsay Lohan

Over the weekend Barack Obama flew to L.A. to personally ask Lindsay Lohan and Pamela Anderson, “Please don’t let people know that you support me for President. Don’t say it on your websites. Don’t say it to reporters. Don’t even tell your friends. Please! If you want to see me as your President, Just Shut Up.”

Knowing that most Americans accurately view Hollywood actors and actresses as, well, fluff, and growing frustrated at the sheer number of famous stupid people who are saying they are going to vote for him, Barak Obama, for the first time in this campaign seemingly lost his cool. After a rally in upstate New York, Obama lamented to an aide, “Why can’t I appeal to someone with a brain? Why does it always have to be Hollywood losers that are forever proclaiming how wonderful I am and telling reporters how my values exactly match their values. Even that wooly mammoth Whoopie Goldberg openly sneers at McCain but hangs onto my arm like I’m her dad or something. It’s embarrassing. I’m smarter than all of them, nicer than all of them, and I do not belong to them in any way, shape or form. I would like to say to all of Hollywood, just go away until after the election, OK? But keep that money coming.
I can always use more.”

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