Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Atheists - What’s not to like?

An interesting story emerged this morning on the news-wire. Apparently a corked bottle floated up on the shores of Nebraska, U.S.A.. In the bottle was what appeared to be a page torn from an atheist’s diary. It read as follows.

“It’s 9:45, May 1 / 07. Help! I’m adrift in the Bible Belt of America. I need rescuing. All alone. I’m taunted because people say that I’m arrogant and aloof. I don’t get it. Of course I’m arrogant and aloof but not in a negative way.

People say that I’m intolerant of religion and bigoted toward Christians, but how can I not be when 100% of the world’s problems are caused by Christians? I found that fact myself in a couple of Ditchen’s books and those guys wouldn’t lie.

I’m in an impossible situation. I’m an awesome individual yet people hold that against me. When I say to people, "I’m a Bright and you're not," they look at me like there's something wrong with me. I can’t help it if being more intelligent and more responsible than most people caused me to choose atheism. And, because I don’t need God to be a good person, I’m convinced that my morals are impeccable. I simply don’t do anything wrong - not really - certainly not worse than most people. Yet people look down on me because of that.

Did I mention how intelligent and self-sufficient I am?

As far as I can see, I’m doing everything right. I love myself, I admire myself, I esteem myself, I’m proud of myself and I’m proud that I feel these ways about myself. I just don’t get it! Why don’t people like that about me?

Like any atheist, I live life by reason and logic and refuse to believe in anything if I can’t touch it, smell it, see it, feel it or hear it. If I rely on my senses to put me in touch with the only things that are important in life, what else am I supposed to do?

Did I remember to mention how intelligent I am?

Is it my fault that we atheists are world leaders in anything and everything that matters to the humans race? Is it my fault that when it comes to understanding why we’re here and how we came to be, we atheists see ourselves as right while seeing 98%of the world as wrong? That’s just a fact of life. We’re right and you’re wrong. Don’t shoot the messenger, dude!

I mean, I already see myself as more intelligent than idiots who believe in God. What more can I do to be liked?

I’m as politically correct as I can be. I already recognise that humility and kindness and generosity are practically useless to this phenotype. I’m in favour of killing off anyone who’s a drain on society or just inconvenient, like those under a month old, the elderly and the crippled. Really, nobody but Christians want those people around anyway.

Sure any nation run by Darwinist principles would become a Fascist state, but hey, we’re atheists! What’s not to like?”

3 comments:

PersonalFailure said...

a vision of atheists that dances only in your head.

Makarios said...

Because you're so much nicer than what I described - right?

ExPatMatt said...

"I’m in favour of killing off anyone who’s a drain on society or just inconvenient, like those under a month old, the elderly and the crippled".

Yeah, I'd say PF is nicer than that.

You, on the other hand...