Friday, May 22, 2009

Agnostic Bus Campaign Begins Monday

Ron Bibby, spokesperson for the local chapter of PAAS, the Portland Agnostics Association reported today that it’s time for agnostics across America to stand up and make their voices heard.

“For decades we’ve been ignored by religious fanatics. Now, atheists are starting to think they’re something special just because they’ve got their own bus adds. Rather than support us, atheists are actually turning their backs on us. Go to any atheist blog and you'll find atheists mocking us as weak and confused. Well, come Monday America is going to know that agnostics exist and that we need to be taken seriously.”

Mr. Bibby, whose group numbers 15 “on a good night,” and who gather “for wiener roasts and stuff,” says virtually all agnostics in the greater Portland area, “are fed up” with people not taking them seriously. “Most people don’t know what it’s like to be ignored. Well we do and it hurts.”

When asked how many cities the agnostic bus campaign would target come Monday, Mr. Bibby said that “for now we’ll just have Portland. And just for Monday. We don’t have a lot of money. Most of us live with our parents, you know.” And when asked what the bus ad would say, Mr. Bibby said with a smile, “We don’t know.” Just as I was about to protest, he smiled more broadly and said, “That’s what it’s gonna say. “We don’t know.” Cool huh? Short. Simple. Not hard to understand like that stupid, “There’s probably no God.” Sheesh! And they call us undecided.”

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