I can’t seem to get out of my mind a comment that was made by an atheist a couple months ago. He seemed obsessed with things fair and unfair. What was / is tremendously unfair in this person’s mind is God’s choosing some people for salvation and not others. ‘If this is how god works, then he is not a loving god' was the gist of his comments. As I reread this, it doesn’t sound like he’s much of an atheist, does it? Oh well.
People who are caught up in this type of thinking don’t get this fundamental fact. Regardless of everything else that goes on in the world, ALL of us deserve to go to hell. None of us are deserving of forgiveness. None of us deserve to spend eternity in Heaven. God’s Love is shown in that He has chosen, called, elected, destined and predestined in His foreknowledge some people for salvation so that they need not spend eternity in hell.
Is this fair? Well, not in the sense that some people get salvation when they don’t deserve it, or that they don’t get eternity in hell when that is exactly what they do deserve. No. In that sense, God isn’t fair.
Is the setting aside for salvation, people who don’t deserve salvation the sign of a loving God? Considering that God came to earth with the sole purpose of allowing us to do our absolute worst to Him, while He gave to us His best, I’d say that God's love is way beyond our ability to comprehend. Considering that God paid the debt that I owed Him, so that I could be forgiven and be freed from earned guilt, I’d say that I don’t possess the language to describe God's enormous love. I and other Christians have been given the deal of an eternity. It isn't fair but it sure does feel like love.
I don’t claim to know the why of what our Creator does and neither do the ‘chosen’ writers of the Bible. That is why we have verses like, “His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.” And “Does the pot tell the potter what to do?”
This I do know. The doctrine of election is clear. Here is what I could find on the subject.
ELECT:
The Bible speaks throughout its pages of God choosing people especially for His elect purpose. He sets some kings on their thrones and deposes others. He raised up a Pharaoh of Egypt for no other reason that to display God’s awesome power in rescuing a ‘people’ of His choosing. The genealogy of Jesus is an astounding example of this election of people (Abraham, Isaac and Jacob for etc.) taking place down through the centuries.
An example of election that causes people to stand silent in contemplating God’s fairness is Romans 9:11 - “Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad—in order that God's purpose in election might stand . . .” To be chosen by God is not based on our being “good enough.” Obviously this is because none of us could ever be good enough to earn God’s choosing. His plans are Sovereign.
The apostle Paul of course is adamant that it is God who chooses people for salvation. It is not people who choose God. Apparently Jesus taught as much when His best friend John wrote, “No one comes to Jesus unless God the Father draws him to Jesus.” Paul knows this fact because God chose him to become a follower of Jesus while he (Paul) was diligently killing and torturing Christians. Paul was shown in dramatic fashion that salvation is by grace alone and not by merit. He explains in Romans 11:6-8 - And if [salvation is] by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace. What then? What Israel sought so earnestly it did not obtain, but the elect did. The others were hardened, as it is written: "God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes so that they could not see and ears so that they could not hear, to this very day”
Hmm. God doesn’t seem too concerned whether some people think He’s acting fairly.
Romans 11:28,29 - As far as the gospel is concerned [and] as far as election is concerned, they are loved . . . for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable.
2 Timothy 2:10 - Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.
Titus 1:1 - Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ for the faith of God's elect and the knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness.
1 Peter 1:1 - Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God's elect, strangers in the world
Jesus spoke of the elect concerning the final days of history whereby it is only by election that some people won’t be fooled by satan’s delusions that are poured out upon the people “who live upon the earth.” This term, “who live upon the earth,” is used by the writers of the Bible to describe those for whom this life on earth is their primary concern.
Matthew 24:22,24,31 - If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect—if that were possible. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
In a somewhat comical fashion, I had one atheist express worry that rebellion could take place in heaven (something, I would think, that he doesn’t even believe in), just like it took place before the creation of the world. What he doesn’t understand, one of the many things that he doesn’t understand is that the rebellion of the angels, satan et al. was also part of God’s plan.
1 Timothy 5:21 - I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism.
Those angels that fell, were allowed to fall. Those who didn’t fall were kept safe by God according to His Sovereign plan.
Another word that is sometimes used to describe this concept is FOREKNOWLEDGE / FOREKNEW:
Like the word elect, foreknowledge is used when describing God’s work within human society as well as in terms of those destined for heaven. The first reference in Acts applies to Jesus himself. His crucifixion, death, burial and resurrection was no random set of events. It was planned from before the beginning of time. Jesus came to earth with this express purpose in mind. This is the same as those who nailed Jesus to the cross. Their actions were not mere accidents of history.
Acts 2:23 - This man was handed over to you by God's set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross.
As stated, elect, foreknowledge and foreknew are most commonly used to describe those that God has chosen for salvation.
1 Peter 1:2 - . . .who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
Romans 8:29 - For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Those who have been elected by God’s foreknowledge have clearly been CHOSEN by God.
The first use of this term in the New Testament is to describe unequivocally that all 12 of Jesus’ closest followers, including the one who would betray Jesus were chosen carefully by Him, not the other way around.
John 6:70 - Then Jesus replied, "Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!"
There are many, many verses that are meant to comfort God’s elect by reminding them that if God has chosen them, He is not about to just allow them to drift along through life without His help. One such verse is found in Luke 18:7 - And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?
Such is the importance of this concept, that Paul takes the element of God’s protection and hammers it home in several of his letters to various Churches.
Ro. 8:33 - Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Ephesians 1:11 - Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Colossians. 1:27 - Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Colossians 3:12 - Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
1 Thessalonians 1:4,5 - Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
In a teaching of Jesus that could be used in concert with the parable of the “Sower and the seed” we find this verse.
Matt. 22:13 - Then the king told the attendants, 'Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' "For many are invited, but few are chosen."
This is an important verse for those who pride themselves in leaving, or in “thinking” their way out of Christianity. While believing they have somehow broken free by their own will, Jesus explained in His parable that roughly 3/4 of those who hear about Jesus and roughly 2/3 of those who make a decision to follow Jesus will at some point reject Him and go their own way. It is nothing rare or individual or courageous. Leaving Jesus is what the common crowd does. It is banal in the extreme. I’ll say more about this in another post. In a bit of irony, Jesus’ brother James points out that it is often those who the intellectual elite look down on who God has chosen for salvation.
James 2:5 - Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?
For believers, the following verses do indeed produce comfort and peace in abundance.
1 Peter 1:1-3 - To God's elect, strangers in the world, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
1 Pt. 2:9 - But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Again, we are reminded in the Gospels of those who will be set apart for God in the latter days of history.
Mark 13:20 - If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive. But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them.
Rev. 17:14 - They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings—and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers."
DESTINED / PREDESTINED:
People sometimes ask, was I destined to become a Christian? I’ll let the Bible speak for itself.
1 Corinthians 2:7 - No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.
No one should be under the delusion that being chosen for salvation means a smooth and easy life.
1 Thessalonians 3:3 - so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. You know quite well that we were destined for them.
Romans 8:29,30 - For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
Ephesians 1:5 - he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—
Ephesians 1:11 - In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
The Bible makes it clear that, unlike one Hindu mathematician who said that on average it takes a person 6,800,000 reincarnations to reach their concept of paradise, in reality there is just this one “go-round.”
Hebrews 9:27 - Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,
The question then begs to be asked. If I was destined to become a Christian, are some people destined to go to hell? Well, again, left in our natural state every single one of us deserves to go to hell. It is only God’s love and mercy and grace by which some people have been saved from such a tragic end.
1 Peter 2:9 - They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.
CALLED is the final term that the Bible uses to describe the concept of being chosen by God for salvation; it’s a calling that was set in place before the founding of the Universe.
Mark 3:13 - The calling of the disciples: Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him.
Romans 1:1 - Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God
Romans 1:6 - And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.
Romans 1:7 - To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:30 - And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
But why would God do this? I’ve addressed this in a 2006 post titled “Is God Insane?” It’s probably best, however, to let the Bible describe what’s going on. If you care about this topic, you’d do well to begin at verse 16 or even at the very beginning of Romans chapter 9. There, it is describing just what I’ve been talking about - God justly condemning some people to hell for eternity.
Romans 9:22-24 - What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath (the unsaved) prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy (those whose sins have been forgiven), whom he prepared in advance for glory.
My heart trembles every time I read those verses because it could have been me. Through nothing that I have done or deserved, only through the grace and mercy of God the Father, the Creator of everything that is seen and unseen, have I been chosen for salvation.
1 Corinthians 1:1,2 - even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? To those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy,
1 Corinthians 1:9 - God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
1 Corinthians 1:23,24 - but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
1 Corinthians 1:26 - Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.
1 Corinthians 7:17 - Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.
Ephesians 1:18 - I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
Ephesians 4:3-5 - Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism;
Philippians 3:14 - I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.
2 Thessalonians 2:13,14 - But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ
1 Timothy 6:12 - Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
1:8,9 - But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,
Hebrews 9:15 - For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance
1 Peter 1:15 - But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;
1 Peter 2:9 - But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Again, and finally, it is important for Christians to remember that while we experience the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control of Jesus while we are here on earth, it is not this life that holds our true reward. In fact like every individual on earth, we have been called to endure much hardship.
1 Peter 2:20,21 - But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
1 Peter 3:9 - Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
1 Peter 5:10 - And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.Revelation 17:14 - They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings—and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers.”
So what does this all mean? I wasn’t a Christian until I was 30 years old. Was that part of God’s plan for my life? I don’t think so. The fact that it didn’t happen earlier was my fault not God’s. In fact, my asking Jesus to become my Savior and Lord may not have happened until I was 90 years old or even on my death-bed. Nevertheless, I believe that I was destined to become a Christian.
But what if I’d looked at my life when I was 25 and said, “Well, I guess it’s just not in the cards for me to be a believer. If there is a hell, I guess that will be my destiny. And by the way I think that if there is a God, then he's a Class A asshole for doing this to me.” I can’t be sure of course, but I think that I wouldn’t have remained in that state. As was my experience and has been the experience of millions of others, The Hound of Heaven ran me to ground. He loved me until I couldn’t push away that love for even one more day.
That is why none of us can know who is and who isn’t destined for heaven until the day that person dies. Even then, in many cases, we don't know what took place between that person and Jesus just before death. Like Paul, some of the most hostile and most unlikely prospects for Christ Jesus are just a heartbeat away from salvation. Our job is to pray. God’s job is too save. And as Jesus said, He will never turn away anyone who is genuinely seeking Him. Amen to that!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Is your focus eternal or finite?
Romans 6:23 - “The consequences of sin is spiritual death and eternal separation from God. But the gift of God is eternal life with God through Christ Jesus.”
Humans are so pitifully, desperately, obsessively focussed on their life on earth. The gravitational pull of sin, that results in corrupted self-love surpasses that of any planet or star. We can physically escape the gravitation pull of heavenly bodies, but only the supernatural power of our Creator can lift our eyes to Jesus and to eternal life.
Without Jesus, our focus is on, ‘How do I look?’ ‘What do people think about me?’ 'How can I make people like me?’ If you doubt this focus on self, ask yourself this question. When looking at a group photo of which you are a part, what do you look at to judge whether or not it’s a good picture? And isn’t it true that when you feel annoyed or irritated by someone, the underlying cause is that you're furious that they weren’t thinking about YOU, about your needs and your desires?
The truth is, our focus is solidly drawn to life on earth. ‘What clothes or cars or houses can I buy?’ ‘How much money can I make?’ An atheist once declared to me, “You must not want to be a millionaire,” as though that made me some kind of a freak or something. Our thoughts and motives are constantly drawn to that which is useless and worthless when it really counts. Prove to a wealthy man or woman who is about to die that you can guarantee another year of life and you’d have that person’s fortune in a second.
How odd then that our prayers, pleas and begging go unheeded when telling people how to accept the gift of living forever in Paradise. Such is the pull of sin that only a healed, intimate, forgiven relationship with Jesus can change our focus from self to others, from this stage of life to the next stage of life. A stage that’s just a heartbeat away.
Humans are so pitifully, desperately, obsessively focussed on their life on earth. The gravitational pull of sin, that results in corrupted self-love surpasses that of any planet or star. We can physically escape the gravitation pull of heavenly bodies, but only the supernatural power of our Creator can lift our eyes to Jesus and to eternal life.
Without Jesus, our focus is on, ‘How do I look?’ ‘What do people think about me?’ 'How can I make people like me?’ If you doubt this focus on self, ask yourself this question. When looking at a group photo of which you are a part, what do you look at to judge whether or not it’s a good picture? And isn’t it true that when you feel annoyed or irritated by someone, the underlying cause is that you're furious that they weren’t thinking about YOU, about your needs and your desires?
The truth is, our focus is solidly drawn to life on earth. ‘What clothes or cars or houses can I buy?’ ‘How much money can I make?’ An atheist once declared to me, “You must not want to be a millionaire,” as though that made me some kind of a freak or something. Our thoughts and motives are constantly drawn to that which is useless and worthless when it really counts. Prove to a wealthy man or woman who is about to die that you can guarantee another year of life and you’d have that person’s fortune in a second.
How odd then that our prayers, pleas and begging go unheeded when telling people how to accept the gift of living forever in Paradise. Such is the pull of sin that only a healed, intimate, forgiven relationship with Jesus can change our focus from self to others, from this stage of life to the next stage of life. A stage that’s just a heartbeat away.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Jesus - My Friend, My Lord, My Savior
The Lord is my Shepherd
. He gives me everything that I need
. He makes it so that every night I sleep in peace and safety
. He leads me toward a quietness of spirit
. He restores my soul when I’m worn out by the day’s activities
. He guides me in the paths of righteousness so that I can give Him glory and praise.
. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for Jesus, You are with me.
. Your correction and Your guidance are meant to comfort me.
. You give me success after success even when I'm surrounded by my enemies
. You bless me over and over and over
. Surely Your goodness and love, Your mercy and grace will follow me every day for the rest of my life.
. And I will dwell in Your very presence in paradise for ever and ever.
Psalm 23
As with the wind, God cannot be seen. However, the effect of His presence in a person's life are unmistakeable.
. He gives me everything that I need
. He makes it so that every night I sleep in peace and safety
. He leads me toward a quietness of spirit
. He restores my soul when I’m worn out by the day’s activities
. He guides me in the paths of righteousness so that I can give Him glory and praise.
. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for Jesus, You are with me.
. Your correction and Your guidance are meant to comfort me.
. You give me success after success even when I'm surrounded by my enemies
. You bless me over and over and over
. Surely Your goodness and love, Your mercy and grace will follow me every day for the rest of my life.
. And I will dwell in Your very presence in paradise for ever and ever.
Psalm 23
As with the wind, God cannot be seen. However, the effect of His presence in a person's life are unmistakeable.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Dr. Phil Screws Up
It doesn’t matter what a woman looks like. Her age is not important, nor what kind of a job she has. It doesn’t matter her race or religion. What a woman looks for in a relationship; the only thing in a relationship that will meet her deepest need and fulfill her most intense longing is to have someone listen to her while she talks. Master this, men, and you will have a friend for life. It doesn’t matter if you are a paedophile or even an atheist. A woman will travel across three time zones to visit you in jail as long as she knows that you will listen to her once she gets there.
This is not as easy as it sounds. While listening is recognised by most men as an important step in communication, they see listening as only the first of two steps. When a man is talking to another man, they simply do what comes naturally. It’s as easy as 1 - 2. When communicating with a woman, however, the second step must be avoided at all cost. Do not, under any circumstances, I repeat DO NOT! go to the second step which is fixing the problem about which you have just been told in exquisite detail. The woman in your life has no interest in fixing the problem. In fact, fixing the problem would defeat the whole purpose of telling you about the problem in the first place. The purpose of telling you about the problem is, of course, to tell you about the problem.
Even a professional listener like Dr. Phil screws up on this every single day. It’s somewhat disturbing to watch, what can only be a sadistic human being, set women up by letting them talk on and on about their problems. He seduces them by asking for further details of their problem. Their hearts are lifted as they think, “Why O why is this man married to someone else?” And then he springs the trap. Day after day women are reduced to tears as yet another man, in this case one that they trusted to simply listen, begins to give them advice on how to fix their problems. Some, in deep despair even pretend to take his advice just to get out of his vile presence.
I still haven’t quite figured out exactly how it works, but this I know. Your only role in any relationship with a woman, the only reason that she tolerates your presence in her life, is to test you as a potential long-term listener. If you can listen compassionately, that’s a plus, but it is not necessary. As long as you sit there, without interrupting and without giving ANY hint whatsoever that you came up with a solution to her problem after the first three seconds of her story, you will see this woman again and again. Fail to do that, and you may as well be a sleeping dog just outside a restaurant in China.
I know that some men are foolish. My simply mentioning “listening only” will make some men want to try it, especially after having a few drinks of alcohol. If you want to try this “listening only” approach and if you are a bit of a rascal whose motive for listening is more than 50% to make her weak in the knees, I have this advice. Wait until she’s done telling you the story, and then ask, “Could you tell me the whole thing again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything?”
. If you do this, the results will surprise you.
. If Dr. Phil could master this skill, he would have a show that is watched by millions of people.
I’ve given some advice here, but I warn you. This information is not to be used irresponsibly. It you don’t want any given woman around you for the rest of your life, you must not give her the impression, even for a few moments, that you care about what she’s saying. As soon as she says, “You know what?” begin flipping through the channels on the tv. Keep typing on the keyboard of your computer while she talks. Perhaps, right when she is in mid sentence, tell her to look at the cartoon strip you were studying just before she interrupted your morning reading. Better yet, go to the bathroom for a prodigious bowl movement and let her talk to you through the bathroom door. Whatever you do, do not give her any hope that you are, nor do you have any potential to become a good listener. If you sense that you're being scouted as a potential listener, you must let her down respectfully but in such a way as to leave no doubt as to your deficiencies in this area. You must let her move on with her life. Unless you want a soul-mate, this is what you must do. This is what a gentleman would do. Enough. Go in peace and don’t Dr. Phil the women in your life.
This is not as easy as it sounds. While listening is recognised by most men as an important step in communication, they see listening as only the first of two steps. When a man is talking to another man, they simply do what comes naturally. It’s as easy as 1 - 2. When communicating with a woman, however, the second step must be avoided at all cost. Do not, under any circumstances, I repeat DO NOT! go to the second step which is fixing the problem about which you have just been told in exquisite detail. The woman in your life has no interest in fixing the problem. In fact, fixing the problem would defeat the whole purpose of telling you about the problem in the first place. The purpose of telling you about the problem is, of course, to tell you about the problem.
Even a professional listener like Dr. Phil screws up on this every single day. It’s somewhat disturbing to watch, what can only be a sadistic human being, set women up by letting them talk on and on about their problems. He seduces them by asking for further details of their problem. Their hearts are lifted as they think, “Why O why is this man married to someone else?” And then he springs the trap. Day after day women are reduced to tears as yet another man, in this case one that they trusted to simply listen, begins to give them advice on how to fix their problems. Some, in deep despair even pretend to take his advice just to get out of his vile presence.
I still haven’t quite figured out exactly how it works, but this I know. Your only role in any relationship with a woman, the only reason that she tolerates your presence in her life, is to test you as a potential long-term listener. If you can listen compassionately, that’s a plus, but it is not necessary. As long as you sit there, without interrupting and without giving ANY hint whatsoever that you came up with a solution to her problem after the first three seconds of her story, you will see this woman again and again. Fail to do that, and you may as well be a sleeping dog just outside a restaurant in China.
I know that some men are foolish. My simply mentioning “listening only” will make some men want to try it, especially after having a few drinks of alcohol. If you want to try this “listening only” approach and if you are a bit of a rascal whose motive for listening is more than 50% to make her weak in the knees, I have this advice. Wait until she’s done telling you the story, and then ask, “Could you tell me the whole thing again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything?”
. If you do this, the results will surprise you.
. If Dr. Phil could master this skill, he would have a show that is watched by millions of people.
I’ve given some advice here, but I warn you. This information is not to be used irresponsibly. It you don’t want any given woman around you for the rest of your life, you must not give her the impression, even for a few moments, that you care about what she’s saying. As soon as she says, “You know what?” begin flipping through the channels on the tv. Keep typing on the keyboard of your computer while she talks. Perhaps, right when she is in mid sentence, tell her to look at the cartoon strip you were studying just before she interrupted your morning reading. Better yet, go to the bathroom for a prodigious bowl movement and let her talk to you through the bathroom door. Whatever you do, do not give her any hope that you are, nor do you have any potential to become a good listener. If you sense that you're being scouted as a potential listener, you must let her down respectfully but in such a way as to leave no doubt as to your deficiencies in this area. You must let her move on with her life. Unless you want a soul-mate, this is what you must do. This is what a gentleman would do. Enough. Go in peace and don’t Dr. Phil the women in your life.
Monday, August 20, 2007
"Would You Please Forgive Me?"
Suppose you got a loan for $400,000.00. It was a legitimate cause. You run a construction company and you needed a new piece of equipment. But suppose you had a gambling problem. Suppose the money didn’t get sent to the machine company. Instead, you blew it. All that money from the bank and more is gone. You’re about to lose everything. So you go to the Bank Manager and say to her, “I know that I’ve messed up. I totally blew it. Would you please forgive me? Just let this debt slide, ok? Would you please?”
Suppose the Bank Manager said, “I can see that you mean well. I can see that you’re sorry. I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to pay off all your debts out of my own pocket and I’m going to make sure that you get all the help that you need to deal with this gambling issue, to deal with your marriage problems, anything at all, all at my expense.”
============
Suppose you’re deep into crime. Over the last ten years a million dollars worth of forged checks and stolen items have passed through your hands. Now you stand before the Judge and he asks if you have anything to say for yourself. As chance would have it you have something really important to say. “Your Honour, I am very, very sorry for all that I’ve done. I see the error of my ways and I plan to change from this day forward. So I was wondering, would you not just forgive these latest crimes of mine, but would you also simply wipe my slate clean? Would you please treat me as though none of that other stuff ever happened. I need a clean start. I need you to see me as a law abiding citizen. More than that. Would you see me as your own child and begin to take care of me? Please?”
Suppose the Judge stood up, came down from the bench and took you in his arms. While he is giving you a big hug, with tears streaming down his face he says to you, “Your debt is forgiven. As of right now, you have no criminal history. I will cash in everything that I own and pay off your debts. And because justice demands that a penalty be paid for your crimes, I’m going to do your jail time for you. Go in peace and don’t do this anymore.”
==========
Pretty absurd right? It would never happen. Not on this planet. Not in this lifetime.
Except that it has happened. On this planet no less. And the consequences are taking place during your lifetime.
We owe a debt to God. We owe a debt far greater than anything we could accumulate toward another human being. The punishment that we have coming to us, the debt that we owe due to our rebellion against our Creator means that we deserve eternal separation from God. We are separated from God by this impossibly huge debt forever and ever, unless someone can pay this debt for us. But who could do it but God Himself? Well, the answer is no one. And that is why God, in His love stepped down from His throne and came to earth to pay our penalty for us. The only thing for us to do is to say yes to this offer of forgiveness, this offer of salvation, this offer of renewal.
This what some call cheap Grace or cheap salvation. In the Bible, at the end of the “Lord’s Prayer,” Jesus follows up his admonition to pray ‘Father, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us,’ with a story of two men who went to the Temple to pray. The one man stood before the alter and told God what a good man he was and how lucky God was to have such a wonderful follower on His side. In fact, he told God, ‘I’m not nearly as bad as that other man standing over there.’ The other man that was being talked about had fallen on his knees before God and beat his breast saying, ‘Please forgive me dear Lord. I’m a dreadful sinner with no reason to expect your forgiveness. Without your mercy and grace I am lost.’ Jesus said to His disciples that this man, and not the former went away forgiven.
There is nothing cheap or easy about this type of forgiveness. The hardest thing that we humans can do is to admit to ourselves and to our Creator that we have not just done wrong, but that we are wrong - that we are fundamentally, essentially, totally and completely flawed. Not a single one of our “good” acts come and go without at least some tinge of pride, arrogance and corrupted self-love involved.
Unlike we humans who seem to get a kick out of withholding forgiveness, God longs for us to come to Him to receive forgiveness. He longs to heal our broken relationship with Him. That is why, while we were still His enemies, He took the first step to reconciliation. All that’s left to complete the transaction is our part, the reaching out an accepting this forgiveness, this freedom from guilt.
Now someone might say this is just a fairy tale; it’s just wishful thinking. Not so. There is not a human on earth that would invent a religion with this plot. Our arrogance and pride ensures that all manmade religions allow for the major role of redemption to be played by ourselves. In every religion but Christianity, their god plays the minor role; he jumps to our demands while we work our way to Nirvana or paradise or nothingness or whatever else it may be called. Only Christianity hammers away at the reality of our situation. Only Christianity reveals the concept of Grace. The concept of Grace, or undeserved favour, is what sets Christianity apart from all other religions past and future. Jesus and Jesus alone has done what we cannot do for ourselves. He provides for a healed, intimate and forgiven relationship with our Creator. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.”
Suppose the Bank Manager said, “I can see that you mean well. I can see that you’re sorry. I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to pay off all your debts out of my own pocket and I’m going to make sure that you get all the help that you need to deal with this gambling issue, to deal with your marriage problems, anything at all, all at my expense.”
============
Suppose you’re deep into crime. Over the last ten years a million dollars worth of forged checks and stolen items have passed through your hands. Now you stand before the Judge and he asks if you have anything to say for yourself. As chance would have it you have something really important to say. “Your Honour, I am very, very sorry for all that I’ve done. I see the error of my ways and I plan to change from this day forward. So I was wondering, would you not just forgive these latest crimes of mine, but would you also simply wipe my slate clean? Would you please treat me as though none of that other stuff ever happened. I need a clean start. I need you to see me as a law abiding citizen. More than that. Would you see me as your own child and begin to take care of me? Please?”
Suppose the Judge stood up, came down from the bench and took you in his arms. While he is giving you a big hug, with tears streaming down his face he says to you, “Your debt is forgiven. As of right now, you have no criminal history. I will cash in everything that I own and pay off your debts. And because justice demands that a penalty be paid for your crimes, I’m going to do your jail time for you. Go in peace and don’t do this anymore.”
==========
Pretty absurd right? It would never happen. Not on this planet. Not in this lifetime.
Except that it has happened. On this planet no less. And the consequences are taking place during your lifetime.
We owe a debt to God. We owe a debt far greater than anything we could accumulate toward another human being. The punishment that we have coming to us, the debt that we owe due to our rebellion against our Creator means that we deserve eternal separation from God. We are separated from God by this impossibly huge debt forever and ever, unless someone can pay this debt for us. But who could do it but God Himself? Well, the answer is no one. And that is why God, in His love stepped down from His throne and came to earth to pay our penalty for us. The only thing for us to do is to say yes to this offer of forgiveness, this offer of salvation, this offer of renewal.
This what some call cheap Grace or cheap salvation. In the Bible, at the end of the “Lord’s Prayer,” Jesus follows up his admonition to pray ‘Father, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us,’ with a story of two men who went to the Temple to pray. The one man stood before the alter and told God what a good man he was and how lucky God was to have such a wonderful follower on His side. In fact, he told God, ‘I’m not nearly as bad as that other man standing over there.’ The other man that was being talked about had fallen on his knees before God and beat his breast saying, ‘Please forgive me dear Lord. I’m a dreadful sinner with no reason to expect your forgiveness. Without your mercy and grace I am lost.’ Jesus said to His disciples that this man, and not the former went away forgiven.
There is nothing cheap or easy about this type of forgiveness. The hardest thing that we humans can do is to admit to ourselves and to our Creator that we have not just done wrong, but that we are wrong - that we are fundamentally, essentially, totally and completely flawed. Not a single one of our “good” acts come and go without at least some tinge of pride, arrogance and corrupted self-love involved.
Unlike we humans who seem to get a kick out of withholding forgiveness, God longs for us to come to Him to receive forgiveness. He longs to heal our broken relationship with Him. That is why, while we were still His enemies, He took the first step to reconciliation. All that’s left to complete the transaction is our part, the reaching out an accepting this forgiveness, this freedom from guilt.
Now someone might say this is just a fairy tale; it’s just wishful thinking. Not so. There is not a human on earth that would invent a religion with this plot. Our arrogance and pride ensures that all manmade religions allow for the major role of redemption to be played by ourselves. In every religion but Christianity, their god plays the minor role; he jumps to our demands while we work our way to Nirvana or paradise or nothingness or whatever else it may be called. Only Christianity hammers away at the reality of our situation. Only Christianity reveals the concept of Grace. The concept of Grace, or undeserved favour, is what sets Christianity apart from all other religions past and future. Jesus and Jesus alone has done what we cannot do for ourselves. He provides for a healed, intimate and forgiven relationship with our Creator. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.”
Saturday, August 18, 2007
I'm in over my head and I need Help
Every day, people struggle with things like:
The bank just foreclosed on my house. The x-ray showed a spot on my lung. My child was killed by an impaired driver. I can’t afford to feed my family. My spouse left me for someone else. The place where I’ve worked for the last 20 years is closing its doors for good. Insurance will not cover the loss. The person that raped me is still out there.
People’s thoughts go something like:
I can’t handle this. It’s too much. I can’t cope with this. The pain is too, too great. I think I’m losing my mind. I’m in way over my head. Why? Why? Why?
1st Corinthians 10:13 reads, “No test or temptation that comes your way is different in nature or severity than what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He’ll never let your be pushed past your limit; He’ll always be there to show you the way out and to help you through it.”
That is an awesome verse. It’s an awesome reminder of God’s love for us. It’s a great reminder that our “Temptations” are not without purpose. It’s too bad then, that people have twisted this verse to mean something totally other than what it says. When it’s twisted, as people often do, it comes out saying that God will never give us more difficulty than we can bear, or more relational or emotional or physical pain than we can handle. They couldn’t be more wrong.
First of all, the verse is saying that God will not allow us to bE TEMPTED beyond what we can handle and that He will always give us a way out. We may not choose to escape from temptation but He will and does provide that option for us. When we have an opportunity to steal, God will give us a reason and a chance to not steal. When we’re tempted to gossip, God will make a way for us to stop. When we are tempted to judge someone as having less value and deserving less respect than someone created in the image of God deserves, God will remind us so we can change our point of view. When ever we are tempted to think or to act in a way that goes against the character of God, He will give us a chance to either choose to gain victory or defeat. That’s what the verse is saying.
The second and more important point is this. God can and does give us more than we can handle. He does it frequently and for a good purpose. The purpose is always to bring us out of ourselves and to Him. “We don’t need God,” is the rallying cry of the world. “I’m gonna do it my way,” is the deepest desire that we have. Well, God uses the consequences of doing it our way to show us that we do indeed need God. As the saying goes, “To what will you look to for help if not to something that is stronger than yourself.” Being in over our heads is how most of us came to be Saved / Born Again in the first place.
Once again, Paul gives us a hint at the true meaning in 2nd Corinthians 1:8-11 - “I don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally.”
This is what’s going on when we hear about jail-house conversions. Most people don’t believe in them but they are just an extreme example of what God longs to do with all of our difficulties. He uses tragedy to jerk our chain. He uses pain to show us that we’re on the wrong track. When an impaired driver kills someone, When a woman leaves her spouse because he’s violent with her, When someone loses a business because of gambling, When a man’s infidelity is exposed, all these and more are opportunities to changes one’s course in life. When our weakness is shown to us in the blinding light of reality, it’s time to pay attention. It’s time to turn around. It’s time to repent and give control of our lives to Jesus.
Rather than alter the meaning of 1st Cor. 10:13, those of us who have been granted salvation should say with Paul, “I rejoice in my difficulties, in my sickness, in my loss, in my tragedy, in the times when I’m in over my head, because “When I am weak, then I am strong.” When I’m at my wits end, when I’ve tried all my options, when all hope is lost, when I haven’t a clue what else to do, then, THEN I remember my God, my Creator and Saviour and Lord who will not spare anything, not even Himself to change me and shape me to conform me into the likeness of Jesus.
God is great and God is good. Amen.
The bank just foreclosed on my house. The x-ray showed a spot on my lung. My child was killed by an impaired driver. I can’t afford to feed my family. My spouse left me for someone else. The place where I’ve worked for the last 20 years is closing its doors for good. Insurance will not cover the loss. The person that raped me is still out there.
People’s thoughts go something like:
I can’t handle this. It’s too much. I can’t cope with this. The pain is too, too great. I think I’m losing my mind. I’m in way over my head. Why? Why? Why?
1st Corinthians 10:13 reads, “No test or temptation that comes your way is different in nature or severity than what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He’ll never let your be pushed past your limit; He’ll always be there to show you the way out and to help you through it.”
That is an awesome verse. It’s an awesome reminder of God’s love for us. It’s a great reminder that our “Temptations” are not without purpose. It’s too bad then, that people have twisted this verse to mean something totally other than what it says. When it’s twisted, as people often do, it comes out saying that God will never give us more difficulty than we can bear, or more relational or emotional or physical pain than we can handle. They couldn’t be more wrong.
First of all, the verse is saying that God will not allow us to bE TEMPTED beyond what we can handle and that He will always give us a way out. We may not choose to escape from temptation but He will and does provide that option for us. When we have an opportunity to steal, God will give us a reason and a chance to not steal. When we’re tempted to gossip, God will make a way for us to stop. When we are tempted to judge someone as having less value and deserving less respect than someone created in the image of God deserves, God will remind us so we can change our point of view. When ever we are tempted to think or to act in a way that goes against the character of God, He will give us a chance to either choose to gain victory or defeat. That’s what the verse is saying.
The second and more important point is this. God can and does give us more than we can handle. He does it frequently and for a good purpose. The purpose is always to bring us out of ourselves and to Him. “We don’t need God,” is the rallying cry of the world. “I’m gonna do it my way,” is the deepest desire that we have. Well, God uses the consequences of doing it our way to show us that we do indeed need God. As the saying goes, “To what will you look to for help if not to something that is stronger than yourself.” Being in over our heads is how most of us came to be Saved / Born Again in the first place.
Once again, Paul gives us a hint at the true meaning in 2nd Corinthians 1:8-11 - “I don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally.”
This is what’s going on when we hear about jail-house conversions. Most people don’t believe in them but they are just an extreme example of what God longs to do with all of our difficulties. He uses tragedy to jerk our chain. He uses pain to show us that we’re on the wrong track. When an impaired driver kills someone, When a woman leaves her spouse because he’s violent with her, When someone loses a business because of gambling, When a man’s infidelity is exposed, all these and more are opportunities to changes one’s course in life. When our weakness is shown to us in the blinding light of reality, it’s time to pay attention. It’s time to turn around. It’s time to repent and give control of our lives to Jesus.
Rather than alter the meaning of 1st Cor. 10:13, those of us who have been granted salvation should say with Paul, “I rejoice in my difficulties, in my sickness, in my loss, in my tragedy, in the times when I’m in over my head, because “When I am weak, then I am strong.” When I’m at my wits end, when I’ve tried all my options, when all hope is lost, when I haven’t a clue what else to do, then, THEN I remember my God, my Creator and Saviour and Lord who will not spare anything, not even Himself to change me and shape me to conform me into the likeness of Jesus.
God is great and God is good. Amen.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Anxiety and Depression
Humble yourselves under God's mighty hand, so that at just the right time He will lift you up. Cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares about you and for you.
1st Peter 5:6-7.
What's the connection between humbling ourselves and casting all our cares upon God?
. What's the connection between humbling ourselves and God lifting us up because He cares about us?
. When is it that we aren't humbling ourselves?
The answer to the last question is clear.
- We aren't humble before God when we're trying to run our own lives.
- We aren't humble before God when we're trying to solve our own problems without God's help.
- We aren't humble before God when when we don't rely on God's wisdom and love.
If we believe that God is the Creator of all that's seen and unseen, then why wouldn't we rely on Him, especially in our most difficult times? That's easy. The fact is, we don't trust God. We don't trust God because He doesn't do things the way that we'd do them. Because we don't trust God and because we depend on ourselves to decide what's best for our lives, we experience anxiety and depression at almost the same rate as those who don't even know Jesus as their Saviour and God as their Creator. Rather than casting our cares upon God, we not only carry them ourselves, we pile them up so high that we stagger beneath the weight.
. We can only cast our cares upon God when we humble ourselves enough that we admit that we need God's help.
. We can only cast our cares upon God when we're honest enought with ourselves that we admit that we don't want God's help.
. We can only cast our cares upon God when accept that we want to be in control of our affairs. In reality, we WANT to determine the solution to our problems. We want to set the course that our lives will take.
God loves us. God cares about us. God wants to lift us out of our problems. Problem is, He can't do that when we are clinging tightly to the very issues from which He is trying to rescue us. And we can't allow God to lift us out of our problems until we humble ourselves enough to rid ourselves of the pride that causes us to run our own lives instead of casting our worries upon our Lord and Saviour.
This is no small matter since, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
1st Peter 5:6-7.
What's the connection between humbling ourselves and casting all our cares upon God?
. What's the connection between humbling ourselves and God lifting us up because He cares about us?
. When is it that we aren't humbling ourselves?
The answer to the last question is clear.
- We aren't humble before God when we're trying to run our own lives.
- We aren't humble before God when we're trying to solve our own problems without God's help.
- We aren't humble before God when when we don't rely on God's wisdom and love.
If we believe that God is the Creator of all that's seen and unseen, then why wouldn't we rely on Him, especially in our most difficult times? That's easy. The fact is, we don't trust God. We don't trust God because He doesn't do things the way that we'd do them. Because we don't trust God and because we depend on ourselves to decide what's best for our lives, we experience anxiety and depression at almost the same rate as those who don't even know Jesus as their Saviour and God as their Creator. Rather than casting our cares upon God, we not only carry them ourselves, we pile them up so high that we stagger beneath the weight.
. We can only cast our cares upon God when we humble ourselves enough that we admit that we need God's help.
. We can only cast our cares upon God when we're honest enought with ourselves that we admit that we don't want God's help.
. We can only cast our cares upon God when accept that we want to be in control of our affairs. In reality, we WANT to determine the solution to our problems. We want to set the course that our lives will take.
God loves us. God cares about us. God wants to lift us out of our problems. Problem is, He can't do that when we are clinging tightly to the very issues from which He is trying to rescue us. And we can't allow God to lift us out of our problems until we humble ourselves enough to rid ourselves of the pride that causes us to run our own lives instead of casting our worries upon our Lord and Saviour.
This is no small matter since, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
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