Dr. Phil Screws Up

It doesn’t matter what a woman looks like. Her age is not important, nor what kind of a job she has. It doesn’t matter her race or religion. What a woman looks for in a relationship; the only thing in a relationship that will meet her deepest need and fulfill her most intense longing is to have someone listen to her while she talks. Master this, men, and you will have a friend for life. It doesn’t matter if you are a paedophile or even an atheist. A woman will travel across three time zones to visit you in jail as long as she knows that you will listen to her once she gets there.

This is not as easy as it sounds. While listening is recognised by most men as an important step in communication, they see listening as only the first of two steps. When a man is talking to another man, they simply do what comes naturally. It’s as easy as 1 - 2. When communicating with a woman, however, the second step must be avoided at all cost. Do not, under any circumstances, I repeat DO NOT! go to the second step which is fixing the problem about which you have just been told in exquisite detail. The woman in your life has no interest in fixing the problem. In fact, fixing the problem would defeat the whole purpose of telling you about the problem in the first place. The purpose of telling you about the problem is, of course, to tell you about the problem.

Even a professional listener like Dr. Phil screws up on this every single day. It’s somewhat disturbing to watch, what can only be a sadistic human being, set women up by letting them talk on and on about their problems. He seduces them by asking for further details of their problem. Their hearts are lifted as they think, “Why O why is this man married to someone else?” And then he springs the trap. Day after day women are reduced to tears as yet another man, in this case one that they trusted to simply listen, begins to give them advice on how to fix their problems. Some, in deep despair even pretend to take his advice just to get out of his vile presence.

I still haven’t quite figured out exactly how it works, but this I know. Your only role in any relationship with a woman, the only reason that she tolerates your presence in her life, is to test you as a potential long-term listener. If you can listen compassionately, that’s a plus, but it is not necessary. As long as you sit there, without interrupting and without giving ANY hint whatsoever that you came up with a solution to her problem after the first three seconds of her story, you will see this woman again and again. Fail to do that, and you may as well be a sleeping dog just outside a restaurant in China.

I know that some men are foolish. My simply mentioning “listening only” will make some men want to try it, especially after having a few drinks of alcohol. If you want to try this “listening only” approach and if you are a bit of a rascal whose motive for listening is more than 50% to make her weak in the knees, I have this advice. Wait until she’s done telling you the story, and then ask, “Could you tell me the whole thing again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything?”
. If you do this, the results will surprise you.
. If Dr. Phil could master this skill, he would have a show that is watched by millions of people.

I’ve given some advice here, but I warn you. This information is not to be used irresponsibly. It you don’t want any given woman around you for the rest of your life, you must not give her the impression, even for a few moments, that you care about what she’s saying. As soon as she says, “You know what?” begin flipping through the channels on the tv. Keep typing on the keyboard of your computer while she talks. Perhaps, right when she is in mid sentence, tell her to look at the cartoon strip you were studying just before she interrupted your morning reading. Better yet, go to the bathroom for a prodigious bowl movement and let her talk to you through the bathroom door. Whatever you do, do not give her any hope that you are, nor do you have any potential to become a good listener. If you sense that you're being scouted as a potential listener, you must let her down respectfully but in such a way as to leave no doubt as to your deficiencies in this area. You must let her move on with her life. Unless you want a soul-mate, this is what you must do. This is what a gentleman would do. Enough. Go in peace and don’t Dr. Phil the women in your life.