“Friends”

As I was on my way to a certain channel the other day, I paused for about three minutes on the sitcom called “Friends.” As a point of interest this is a program, when it first aired that was not deemed suitable for younger viewers so it was shown in the 7:30 to 8:00 o’clock time slot. Now, of course, reruns of the same program with the same material is shown at 4:00pm, just as kids are getting home from school. Anyhow, in the scene that I saw, one of the characters walks into some sort of a bar and announces that she is celebrating an anniversary. Her “friends” begin to guess what the anniversary is regarding:
“Your first kiss?”
“Your first date?”
“Your first sex.”
To which she replies, “Yes.”
Cue the canned laughter.

I know, it’s just mindless trash, but it is such sad, sad and pathetic trash. People like that, women and men who behave like that are absolutely lost, clueless, morally and spiritually adrift, selfish and self-centred, absolutely unable to distinguish between life giving and life destroying behaviours. I know because I work with them on a daily basis.

Children who are raised by people like that also become incapable of distinguishing between life giving and life destroying behaviours.
Yet this, is what we are supposed to laugh about.

If there is any behaviour that is geared to getting and transmitting STD’s including HIV (like our world needs that) it’s first date, first kiss, first sex.
Yet this, is what we’re supposed to laugh about.

If there is any behaviour that requires a person to put on extra layers of insensitivity (like our world needs that), it’s first date, first kiss, first sex.
Yet this, is what we’re supposed to laugh about.

If there is any behaviour that leads one to become immune to giving and receiving genuine love (like our world needs that), it’s first date, first kiss, first sex.
Yet this is what we’re supposed to laugh about.

If there are any characters that our children admire and desire to imitate, if there are any 'heroes' who will virtually guarantee that our children will in turn fail to find caring, loving relationships (like our world needs that), it is those “stars” who in their real lives demonstrate a profound inability to connect in a meaningful way. Because of this our children suffer, our families suffer, our communities suffer, our world suffers.

Yet this is what we’re supposed to laugh about.

When it comes to relationships, healthy people attract healthy people and dysfunctional people attract dysfunctional people. Through picturing them as cute and humorous these type of shows actually promote the most dysfunctional people, life-styles and relationships that our society has to offer. The sad and deteriorating state of the world shows that our children are absorbing the message.

Yet this is what we’re supposed to laugh about.

Are You a Real Mother?

All of our children are adopted. In some cases this leads to some pretty strange behaviour on the part of some people. For example, no two examples. When our son David was about a year old, we were at some function and a guy sees me holding David. While David, at age 27 looks as dark as his East Indian heritage would suggest, at one-year-old his hair was actually fairly light brown. At any rate, some guy I'd never met before says, "Well he sure looks like you." I replied, "Really? That's odd because he's adopted." To which the man fumble, "Oh, I'm sorry. Well I don't need to be sorry. I mean, that's fine right? Of course it is."

The best story though, has to do with Mother's Day. Shortly after we adopted our first child who is now 30-years-old we were sitting in Church on Mothers Day. We had been attending that congregation for awhile so most people knew our situation. If they didn't, two Caucasian parents with a clearly aboriginal child indicated that ours was a bit of a different situation. Anyhow, as they do in many congregations on Mother's Day, a number of people began handing out flowers to all the mothers in attendance that day. When one young woman came to where Wendy was sitting, she began to hand the flower to Wendy, then took it back, and you could just see on her face the puzzled look and tilt of the head indicating the dilemma Is she a real mother who should get a flower? And then with a blink of the eyes and a shake of her head she handed the flowers to Wendy in a purposeful manner indicating that Of course she should get some flowers. After all,adoption is almost normal - although I sure hope that I don't have to do something like that someday.

Garage Sales:

Every year on May 10th our town has a Community Garage Sale. This is an event where members of the community collude in a non verbal agreement that goes -

If you take my junk and store
it in your basement, I’ll come
and get your junk and store
it in my basement.

Because this is obviously insane, an exchange of cash is mandatory in order to lend this practise a flake of legitimacy.

Things I Remember Most About Dying

I think it was the dampness that hit me first. 10:30pm sunlight was coming from somewhere but the dampness, the cool, spider web, mouse droppings, aging dampness that makes things eerie; slightly dangerous. That's what got my attention. I remember the quiet, utter quiet. No bright loving light like so many had told of before - before it happened to me, that is. Limbo. Nothing happening. Could the atheists have been right? I’m nothing but worm food? Something like a plastic sheet waves slightly and softly to my left. Did it move? Darkness covers over.

There was a warmth coming from somewhere. I could sense it on my right forearm and cheek. Too faint to make me look in that direction. Stuffy. Why is it so stuffy? Like white fungus all fuzzy and peeling from a concrete wall.

I’d like to go back now. This isn’t fun. Why can’t I move? Don’t panic. Don’t panic.

Is that humming? Is it in my head? Is it humming? There certainly isn’t any light; not coming toward me or otherwise. That part is a lie. Why would they lie about that?

There’s no pain. That’s a good thing. A lifetime of arthritis has not removed from me a fear of pain. And now - deathtime -

This is not fun.

I hope my mother's not here.

My Last Car

My wife and I tend to drive our vehicles until they barely stay together. That’s a bit of an exaggeration but not much. While our van is fairly new, our last car was a 1999. It had 220,000kms on it. A couple months ago I had to replace the ABS system which was an $800.00 touch. Then the head gasket went and the power steering pump was on it’s way out as well. Sooo, I traded the thing in and got a new vehicle. Anyhow, on the way home it dawned on me that given one’s life expectancy in North America and given the fact that I’ve been unwell for most of my life, and given a family history of heart disease, this could actually be the last car that I purchase.

I know, I know any one of us could breath our last at any moment, but seriously, I’m on the down hill side of life. At 57 years old, I’m just about out of here. Now to someone who is a lot younger, that might sound absurd, but at this age a week seems like two or three days. A month takes about a week and a half and a year flies by like it just started three or four months ago.

This is both good news and good news for me. I long for heaven. I can hardly wait to be welcomed home by Jesus, my Lord and my dear, dear Saviour. That of course is the good news. I'm a citizen of heaven. Heaven is my home and it's where I belong. On the other hand, the good news is that having just a couple decades left to live gives me a renewed desire to love those that I meet with an intensity that is God given. Knowing that my time is just about up jolts me to connect with others at a level that is deep and challenging. This type of connecting is a rush. It makes me breath deeply while colours become brilliant. I don’t want to miss a single chance to help other people. I don’t want to walk by one opportunity to make someone’s day just a little better. I want Jesus to see me coming and say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” I want to hug my ki

Ah crap! I just forgot to take my son to his piano lesson. It’s the second time that I’ve blown a lesson this week. Ugh. This is so embarrassing.

Why Do You Love Creator God?

Is it His concern for the poor? Or that He demands equality for all? Or that He has provided the only place in the known universe that is perfectly suited to our needs and our well-being? Is it because only He has set forth guidelines that protect the powerless? Is it because He unequivocally stands against any and all evil that could destroy you and everyone that you love? Maybe you love God because He is available 24/7; that He delights in your existence, that He loves you unconditionally, that in fact He allowed Himself to be tortured to death on your behalf. Do you love God because He formed you as an entirely unique individual among an entirely unique species? Is it because He longs to bless you and to provide for you a magnificently abundant life? Do you love Him because He has created an environment whereby you have freedom to accept Him or reject Him? Do you love the fact that His affection for you comes with no strings attached? Do you love that He is perfectly just and that He deals with you in utter fairness according to the Laws of the Cosmos? Do you love God because He doesn’t wait for you to find Him; rather He comes to you and His love pursues you relentlessly throughout your life here on earth? Is it because this is true even when your innate evil nature despises and rejects Him? Perhaps you love God because He is the one being in the whole universe who will not give up on you or turn His back on you. Only you can keep His love from embracing you in warmth and protection. Only you can cause a permanent and eternal rift in His desired relationship with you. Do you love God because He reveals Himself to the humble and to those from whom society turns it’s gaze? Do you love God because He will give you paradise at absolutely no cost to you? Are you drawn to the fact that the Cosmos is filled with and held together by this Trinitarian Being who dwells in perfect community with Himself, who, beyond human comprehension displays wisdom, intelligence, power, glory, knowledge, creativity and dazzling beauty? Do you love the fact that God hasn’t left us to guess at His glory? Instead He has revealed to us in word, in deed and in person His nature and character so there need be no misunderstanding with whom it is that we are aligning ourselves? Do you love God because God is Jesus and Jesus is God? That means that the most pure, kind, gentle, merciful, gracious, humble and without guile or pride, loving, compassionate, giving, helping, patient, selfless, genuine, honest soul to ever walk the earth, that very same person who longs to love you and who desires your friendship is God? Do you love Him because He, being Creator God longs for you, yes you, to become part of His family? Perhaps your love is practical. Perhaps you love God because He is willing to forgive every vile act and horrific thought that you have ever experienced or ever will experience. Maybe you love God because everything that’s good in life, everything that’s pure, wondrous, worthy and worthwhile comes to you from the Father of heavenly lights in whom there is no changing or shifting like shadows. Perhaps you love God because He and He alone is able to provide for you incomprehensible peace and joy. Maybe you’re grateful that nothing can separate you from God’s love. Or maybe you’re blown away because He loves you as you are. Maybe you love God because if you let Him He will change you into a person of integrity. Maybe you love God because He and He alone provides for a victorious life that nothing, not even death itself can destroy. Maybe you love God because the same power that raised Jesus from the dead will ensure that you too will live on into eternity. Perhaps your love for God results from the one and only Being who is truly inclusive in His offer of salvation. Does your love stem from the confidence of being under the care of Him who began and who holds all things together; that you can lie down and sleep in peace because He and He alone provides for your safety? Maybe you love God because He has freed you from anxiety and worry; He’s freed you from hate and anger; He’s freed you from the need for power and position and everything else that the world deems necessary for feelings of worth and value. Maybe you love God because He has freed you from real guilt and provided for you a salvation that is sure and eternal. Maybe you love God because of the clarity and understanding that He brings into problems that have baffled humanity for eons past.

Maybe it’s because of these things and more that cause you to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

Whose Disciple Are You?

It’s been said from time to time that Jesus was not the only person to encourage others to “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” or “Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.” In fact, no one produced that idea before Jesus. No one could have said it that way because the human mind does not work that way. That particular teaching of Jesus was as unique as any teaching of God has ever been when compared to the philosophy of humans.

You see people of the world are generally focused on NOT doing wrong things. I must not steal. I must not kill someone. I must not screw around with someone else’s partner. I must not tell lies etc. Because of that mind-set, all people, prior to Jesus, phrased the “Golden Rule” this way. “Don’t do unto other people what you wouldn’t want people doing to you.” And while it’s usually said with a smile, the more accurate yet rarely spoken creed is, “Do to other people before they get a chance to stick it to you.” You can see it in things like - Get that parking space before he gets it. There’s only one table left - go sit down while I stand in line and then order. Force your way through the sale-crowd to grab the desired object before other people take them all. Horde your money. Accumulate possessions. It’s survival of the fittest, dog-eat-dog. You snooze you lose. Atheists didn’t invent this mind-set; they simply refined it and turned it into an “intelligent” philosophy by which they believe that we should live. I'll do good to you if it will benefit me in the long-run.

What an incredible difference between that and what Jesus taught. There is a light-year of space between simply not doing something wrong and purposely doing something right. And that was the gist of Jesus’ teaching as it’s recorded in the Bible, in the record written by Matthew, chapters 5 - 7.

When Jesus said that He came to fulfill the Old Testament Law, He was saying, “You guys aren’t getting it! Here’s what all those do’s and don’ts are supposed to mean. You are to treat everyone with respect and fairness. You are to directly and volitionally pursue what is best for your neighbour. Don’t just “Not steal” - give to others freely; go beyond what they need or ask for. Don’t just “Not kill,” help others to live life to the fullest. Love your enemies. Don’t just “Not commit adultery with your neighbour’s wife or husband” - view all people as much more than sexual objects. Don’t just “Not tell lies” - rid yourselves of verbal manipulation of any kind. Use words to build up and encourage.

Jesus isn’t giving a new set of rules to follow. He is literally showing his followers a way of life; an abundant life. He is saying, “If you follow me, if you become my disciple and my student, if you make it your life’s goal to become like Me I will come to you in my Spirit and strengthen you, counsel you, guide you, protect you and grow you so that day after day, year after year there will be a steady progression toward Jesus-like-ness.

Yes there is heaven at some point, but the riches of God are given to us now, if we choose to become a disciple of Jesus. The abundant life is in becoming recreated, born again, living life to the fullest as you were meant to live it. The abundant life is in being changed into someone who can look at h/herself in the mirror and not have regrets or shame.

Lord God Almighty, you alone are great, kind and merciful. Thank you.